Code Blue

~ Chapter 27 ~

Chapter 27
Wednesday September 27th
Mallory's POV

"Why did you recommend me?" I barged right up to Harry bright and early the next morning, I didn't even care that I was interrupting his conversation with Dr. Evans.

I rarely slept last night.

I tossed and turned through the hours of darkness. My brain wouldn't stop going. It kept bringing me back to the moment his artery burst. The smell of blood that engulfed my clothes. The sensation of my hands being the only barrier between him and bleeding all over. The shock going through my system and the nervousness written in his eyes at the fear of death.

The times that I told him that he wasn't dying echoed my thoughts. I lied to him.

I felt an incredible wave of guilt inside of me. I felt that I caused all of this and then I couldn't even save him. I hated feeling like a failure, because it just always brought me back to being told I was never good enough to be a surgeon. Every mistake was just another nail in the coffin that was the death of my father believing in me. I let Jack down, I let Dr. Lawson down, I let myself down.

The scene replayed like a bad movie for hours on end. I went in and out of sleep. Waking up for the sunset didn't even excite me today. I sat there thinking about how I'm getting the chance at another day, But Jack will never get that again.

I didn't think it would hit me this hard.

"What are you talking about?" Harry gave me a look of annoyance for interrupting his conversation.

"Don't play dumb" I snarled, momentarily forgetting that Dr. Evans was standing there.

In the hours that grief overwhelmed me, Harry's declaration all fell into place. He only laughed when I yelled this had nothing to do with him, but I figured out what he meant. He probably didn't think I was smart enough, but I knew.

"I've uh got a patient to get to" Dr. Evans awkwardly looked at his phone, giving us a small wave as goodbye before turning on his heels and rushing away.

"Thanks Mallory, not like I was telling him anything important or something" Harry said sarcastically, leaning on the receptionist desk we were nearby.

"Why did you recommend me?" I repeated, I wasn't going to let his comment derail my tired self from what I wanted to know. For once, Harry was going to give me an honest answer.

Or at least I hoped.

"Gotta say Mallory, I was anticipating it being at least 3 days before you figured it out" He joked, waving a pointed finger at me. I was well aware his remark implied he thought I was slow, but I couldn't help but notice his playful, and not fully irritating, tone as he said it.

"I'm not messing around" I glared at him. "After how awful you have been to me, you at the very least owe me this"

"Okay you want my honest answer Mallory?" He moved his finger in a 'come here' motion like it was some big secret.

I didn't give him the satisfaction of moving closer.

"What?"

"I knew my recommendation would be desired, and I just wanted to make sure you weren't placed on my service" He smirked at me cockily.

I could slap him right here if I didn't want to lose my job.

"You're not funny" I took a deep breathe.

"That's my honest answer" He put his hands up in surrender.

"You're lying to me. Again" I threw in there.