COMPLETED: The Kiwi to my Heart // Liam Lawson

Chapter 19

I looked over at Liam who was still looking up. I wasn't sure what the protocol was for just having slept with your long time enemy. "Why are you looking at me like we just had sex?" He said with a cheeky tone. "Am not!" I say throwing a pillow at him. I grabbed a sheet and wrapped it around myself and began to walk into the bathroom. I know we just slept together, but it felt weird to walk around naked in front of him.

When I came back out Liam now had a pair of comfortable pants on and was arranging the pillows on the bed. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to... I mean we could just go to sleep. I can sleep on the couch, I mean." I looked at him a little confused as to why he was getting all nervous. Obviously this wasn't anything more than sex. He knew that and I knew that. And besides this was a one time thing. I was sad about Lando and he was probably sad about his qualifying. "Just let me get dressed and we can go to bed." I tell him trying to make things feel a little less awkward. "Oh alright." He sounded a little disappointed as if he wanted to do more, but I was too tired for round 2.

I picked up my clothes from the floor and put them in a pile. Those were definitely going to need to be washed, so I grabbed a new pair of underwear and some pj's from my suitcase and got dressed behind the closet door. "I can still kinda see you through there" Liam said from the bed he was now laying in. "Then close your eyes you perv" I called back. There was a lightness in my voice I hadn't ever employed when talking to him. Like this time I truly meant that insult only as a joke. I shook off the feeling of actually starting to like Liam as I joined him in bed.

"Wanna watch something?" Liam asked, gesturing towards the tv. "I'm a bit tired from... you know" I said, giving him a smirk. "That's all you wanted to do?" Liam prodded as if he really wanted me to say something. I propped myself up on my forearm staring at him now feeling myself get serious. "Liam that was- well it was amazing" I saw him smile as I said these words and then frown as he knew there was a "but" coming. "But- that's never happening again and it doesn't change the way I feel about you. You were there and a good lay." The last words came out of my mouth before I could realize the impact it might have on him. I didn't necessarily think it would hurt his feelings because I thought we both had a mutual hatred for each other, but the expression on his face proved otherwise. I guess you don't fuck someone you hate quite like that.

"Pfft" Liam scoffed. "You know what? I have to go." He said, making his way out from under the covers. "Right now? Liam it's night time. Where are you going to go?" I asked, feeling the bed shift from the removal of his weight. "I'll figure it out." He said, now reaching for the door. "Liam, wait. Please. I'm sorry." I begged, feeling horrible now for what I said. "I don't know why you care so much Y/N if all I am is someone for you to fuck." With that he closed the door with a slam quiet enough so no one would wake, but still loud enough for me to get the message. The message being I fucked up. But, how else was I supposed to feel? Liam had bullied me every summer of my life and it only got worse as I got older. In what world did he think all of a sudden I changed my tune. Just because you have sex with someone doesn't necessarily mean you liked them. Right?

I knew deep down that the person I really would have liked to be with was Lando and that Liam was just his substitute.