COMPLETED: The Kiwi to my Heart // Liam Lawson

Chapter 21

I backed into the wall of the elevator, my body sliding to the floor. The tears flowed despite my best efforts against it. All of the things Liam said they were making me question everything and I didn't know how to feel anymore. I went downstairs for clarity and now I was more confused than ever. Maybe I should have let him tell me why he did what he did, but part of me didn't care. I couldn't let myself care because it gave him power over me again and I didn't want that anymore. I was not going to let anyone be in control over my feelings ever again.

I picked myself up off the floor as the doors opened and walked back into the room. I frantically flung Liams sweatshirt off my body not wanting him or anything to do with him near my body again. I looked at the clock again. 4:58 am. There was no way I was going back to bed now and it was late enough where I could just stay up. I walked into the bathroom and started the shower. I feel dirty now. The thought of Liam touching me, something that had brought me so much pleasure now filled me with no much regret. I got in the shower trying to scrub the feeling away, scrub away his touch, his kiss, his moans and breath. I showered 3 times to no avail. Whenever I closed my eyes he was still there. His blonde hair and flushed cheeks were clear as day.

I began getting ready for the day. Maneuvering myself around Liam's clothes that were still on the ground in a messy pile. My mind flashed back to last night, our tangled bodies, the sounds, the smells, the tastes. My heart ached at the thought. What had I done? No more summers in Auckland. No more shopping with Holly. No more Liam. I sat on the edge of the bed, my head sinking into my hands. I suppose now might be a good time to tell you what happened last summer...

Flashback to June 2022.

"Liam, stop. Give it back!" I yelled out to the boy who had thought he was a man. "Why? So you can text your boyfriend?" He said while holding my phone up in the air teasing me as I was just out of reach. "Who's got you so smitten, let's see" He starts thumbing through the texts between me and my boyfriend.

"I can't wait to finally meet you in person Dylan <3" Liam read my text in a mocking tone. "Give it back you jerk!" I yelled jumping up and grabbing my phone from him. "I can't believe you actually have a boyfriend Y/N. Did you have to pay him to text you?" He said laughing. The sound made me want to scream. "God why do you always do this to me?!" I yelled and walked away.

Dylan: Hey Y/N I can't wait to see you too! Are we still good to meet later?

Y/N: Yeah that sounds perfect ♥️

My heart skipped a beat thinking of finally meeting up with Dylan. Me and him met while playing video games online and now I have been talking to him for 6 months. He lives in New Zealand, so I never got to meet him irl. We had texted every night though and about 2 months into texting and playing together he asked me to be his girlfriend. I had never thought I'd have an internet boyfriend, but he was perfect in every way. He was funny, he understood me, he likes hearing about my long days at school. He also helped distract me from my unrequited crush on Lando. I realized I liked him a year ago, but I would never say anything. I knew it was better to stay friends and Dylan helped me realize that I can find love with someone else. The only problem with Dylan was that I didn't actually know what he looked like. It didn't matter though. I knew I'd love him no matter what. I put on a pretty floral dress I had bought with Holly for this occasion. She helped me pick it out saying the color of the flowers made my eyes pop.

"Bye everyone, I'll be back later!" I called out before leaving the Lawson house. It took me 15 minutes to get to the cafe where we were meeting and I was shaking during the whole ride. When I got there I texted him realizing I wouldn't know what to look for if I did see him.

Y/N: I'm here! I'm the one standing by the door very mysteriously.

I sent the text, but no response. A minute passed, then 2, then 5. Every bad thought in my head began to pop up. What if he wasn't coming? What if he died on his way here? What if he got here and saw what I looked like and left? What if- *Ding* I looked down, my phone notification interrupting my thoughts.

Dylan: You look great my love. I'm standing by the fountain in the middle of the square.

I looked up to the fountain that was directly across from the cafe and there was only one person there and he couldn't be Dylan because he is Liam. I felt sick. What was Liam doing there? Where was Dylan?

Y/N: Are you at a different cafe? I don't see anyone at the fountain.

I texted Dylan, or Liam, hoping that this was a misunderstanding.

Dylan: You don't see me? I'll wave.

I look up and I see Liam now waving at me. No no no no, this can't be happening. I had fallen in love with... with a lie. I spent 6 months of my life believing I was in love with someone and the whole time it was Liam. I began to run out of the square trying my best not to trip in the sandals I wore. I heard Liam call out for me, but I kept running. I knew what he'd say. "It was just a prank Y/N.", "Why are you so mad Y/N?" ,"You need to learn how to take a joke.", "Are you crying? What a baby." So, I ran. I ran all the way back to the house, never stopping. My lungs felt like they were on fire and my legs felt as though someone had beat them over and over, but the physical pain distracted me from the mental pain.

We left the Lawson house the next day as vacation was over. "Is something wrong?" My brother asked. "Did everything go alright with that Dylan guy?" His question was nothing but caring, but all it reminded me of was the deceit I felt. "No." I said coldly. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, his voice soft. "Also no." I was silent the rest of the trip home. Only speaking when spoken too. Even if I did want to talk, I didn't have the energy to. I just wanted to go home and curl in a ball on my bed and cry. Which is what I did. For a week.