Becoming a Maximoff

Chapter 53: It's not your fault

Pov y/n

The memorial service is around two weeks after everyone returned from being snapped. It's still pretty chaotic but until it's all normal again, it'll probably be a while.
The date is still set though and we're gonna attend it in two days.

Right now, we are on the jet that Mom is flying. It's not one of the quintjets, it's a smaller one because we are only three people and don't need a bigger jet.
Wanda and I are in the 'backseat' and watch the landscape underneath us fly by.

With an annoyed sigh, I pull out my phone from my pocket and unlock it. This morning, before we left, we locked into our old e-mail addresses and ever since, my phone vibrated pretty much every few moments.
A lot of the mails that I got are spam mails and let me tell you, there are a lot after five years. Wanda already gave up on looking through hers and silenced her phone. I click onto the notification and for a few seconds I just stare at my phone.

"Everything okay?" Wanda asks and I am not sure what to reply to that, so I simply hold my phone up to her. She reads over what I'm holding up to her.

"I totally forgot about the writing contest you entered back in Scotland." She mumbles while reading the mail.

"You entered a writing contest?" Mom asks surprised.

"Yeah. I started writing short stories and thought it would be interesting to see if I could win in a contest." I reply and Mom glances back to me.

"And you just got the results?" She asks. Well, that's not quite true. The mail is from almost four and a half years back but I just opened the mail.
So, I just hum in response. Wanda seems done with reading the mail and hands me my phone back, looking at me to see my reaction.

"What do they say?" Mom asks and I can tell she is excited for me.

"I didn't even get into the closer selection." I tell her and Wanda reaches for my hand and intertwines our fingers, giving me a little squeeze.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, dorogory (sweetheart)." Mom replies and I nod and lock my phone.
Wanda continues to look at me, her eyes soft.

"Are you okay?" She asks and I lean my head against the headrest and look out the window before looking back at her.

"I don't know. I mean, even if I would have made it or even won, it wouldn't change anything because that's five years ago now. But it's still a little sad to see that they didn't think my story had potential. I didn't really have expectations when I sent it in because I know that the chances of being picked are very small but I still hoped." I try to explain what's going on inside me. Wanda nods understandingly.

"It doesn't change the fact that I think you're stories are great though. I really like them and I see potential in them. Maybe it just didn't fit for the people judging the contest but it doesn't mean you're not good at writing." She tries to cheer me up and I sigh.

"I wish that was so easy to believe. I do believe you like them and I am really happy you do. It's just...it would have been nice to get someone in that field to approve of what I wrote." I try to word out my thoughts and Wanda nods, thinking about my words.
Mom stays silent, concentrated on flying and letting us handle the situation ourselves.

"It is a field with many applicants, I think it's never easy to make it. Not being picked is sad and frustrating but I believe in you and in what you write and I think, if you keep trying, there will be a day where they will pick you and you will get the recognition you deserve." Wanda says and gives my hand another little squeeze.

A tiny smile forms on my lips at her words. She is probably right but it is still sad to see that I didn't get further.
But that won't stop me from continuing trying or from writing in general.
Even though I would love for people to read and like my stories, I also write them because I want to and enjoy creating worlds of my own.