𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆

𝑲𝒐𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒃𝒊

𝑲𝒐𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒃𝒊—-𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚-𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒆

Playing Another day by Stray kids

Komorebi-
(n.) sunlight that filters that through the leaves of trees

I am alone

And am suffocating

Because I can't give

Voice to my emotions

—Nikos Kazantzakis

That morning Seungmin made it his mission to avoid everyone. He hadn't eaten much but he didn't think too much on that as he was used
To a light diet in the mornings.

He hadn't seen Jisung. Afterwards, the older had all but retreated back upstairs without a single word. Seungmin stayed there for an hour more, leaning against the side as he stared into the dark. He slowly but surely finished his water before he decided to head to bed.

In the morning he was dressed, washed and sitting on the small porch staring into the forest. He doesn't know how long he had been sitting there but he couldn't find it in himself to care.

He doesn't understand.

He doesn't want to.

He doesn't understand why last nights conversation impacted him enough to feel like his stomach was sinking. He hadn't said all of the words he wanted to, but he was sure that those words were enough. They were words that he had felt for years. He never doubted that for a second.

His grudge was great and it didn't feel like it was slipping anytime soon. So why did an uncomfortable feeling settle in his chest?

They had argued before. Maybe even worse than yesterday. They had said shitty things to each other with no remorse.

So why did it hit Jisung so deep to the point of tears?

Why did he care so much of Seungmin's words?

Why did he act that way?

And why did Seungmin feel uncomfortable?

It wasn't guilt. He knew those words needed to be said. He felt them. They were true.

But all he could think was why, sitting there watching the trees blow in the wind through the cracked lenses of his glasses. Why?

He could only let his mind wonder now. The nature. The trees that they are surrounded by.

Seungmin liked nature when he was younger. He liked trees in particular.

They practice dying every year. When winter comes, the cold burying into their roots as they loose the life imbedded in them for a season. The leaves fall and they're without the comfort of camouflage. To hide.

They fade away, a certain meditation as they await the life to soon return, only to begin such a cycle. And most of the time, they stand either alone or in groups. They loose their leaves and they all look the same. But spring comes along and they somehow bare unique features.

Cherry blossom. Oak trees. All kinds.

And they wait all year round in the darkness.

Seungmin likes trees. He likes nature. It's calming. Sometimes he feels like a tree. It sounds stupid but it's true.

Whenever that sinking cold feeling arises, he loses his facade, forced to bare winter naked of his walls. He feels like an oak tree, alone on a field, standing tall for the rest of its life with no other tree in sight. He feels like he should practice dying every year. Taking a few months to meditate in peace maybe? And when the leaves come back, the shell he built, people will look at him and think 'wow! A beautiful strong tree.' And that will be that. That's all it will ever be. A sad life or not, he'll deal with it.

Ok maybe he went on a random thought string about trees but he is trying to find peace in the uncomfortable feeling.

He sighs deeply, taking his glasses off to check the damage over. He hadn't really taken the time to since this all went down.

He hears the front door open but he doesn't bother to see who it is. He really couldn't care less, as he checks over his glasses more closely.

Someone sits down beside him and he only bothers to look up when a can of fruit is shoved into his lap. He takes a second to look over it before he turns his attention to the person sitting next to him.

Minho?

"You haven't eaten. it's imperative that you eat everyday. You don't know when it will be your last." He murmurs but it's clear that he isn't bothering to look back, instead staring out into distance.

"Why do you care?" It was weird that Minho out of everyone would bother. Let's not forget the people they were before all of this. Minho was a bully. Seungmin was 'nerd'.

Minho sighed but didn't turn to look at the younger. "Look, I don't necessarily like or trust anyone here. But that doesn't mean a split in this group will be beneficial for our survival in the future. We need to...work together."

Seungmin didn't respond for a long second, taking that moment to analyse Minho for any lie, but there wasn't any. Because he was right. In his own weird way, it might even be seen as him trying to comfort him.

"We never got along. I hate him...but I may have gone too far with what I said." Admitting it out loud felt strange. It was a step forwards but that's not to say he would carry on that pattern. It was a step forward admitting it, especially to Minho of all people.

"Knowing your stubbornness, it's likely you won't apologise or hold remorse." Minho said, it was more of a statement than an observation. They don't really know much of each other but it was an easy fact. Seungmin glared at him for that but it held no fire. "So try and talk to him about being civil. We don't need anymore issues when we have other shit to think about."

"Yeah whatever. Rich coming from you." Minho turned to look at him for that, but unlike the fire he usually held, his gaze was only intense.

"Get your mouth under control, Minnie. You'll get in a lot of shit for it." It was rather a warning, Minho knowing all too well of the things mouthing off will get you.

There was a sense of familiarity with the two. Maybe they related on some levels. Maybe they understood some parts of themselves. Maybe that's why Minho came out to talk to him. Seungmin would never admit it but he found it comforting. Whether it was his words or his presence.

Maybe they both felt like trees, just in different locations.

An:

No one ask me about this random ass tree talk. Cause even ion know. Smh. I just hope it makes sense ig.

But like 2 things. I forgot to add warnings at the top for certain topics and I deeply apologise, my head's been in the clouds. So from here on out, major warning, shits about to get realllll and everything should be viewer discretion. Cause some of these topics are acc horrid.

Also if you've noticed that I forgot Seungmin wore glasses then no you didn't.

Anyways, progress???
A little 2Min connection?

Also also a very important chapter next!!! Excited?