The world has fallen into the hands of greed and chaos and no one knows what to do. It's as though they are being punished by the God they once played.
The punishment for delving into higher powers man was not meant to touch. The punishment for the...
All of those things can add up and create a masterpiece.
But I never said a good one.
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The scream that left his lips was almost heart-stopping. He looked at me with such fear it made my head spin. The room was silent after that. Eyes on him but his eyes were on me.
His face was pale, sickening almost. He was pale before but now he looked almost dead, eyes two wide, empty orbs that looked frozen on me.
My feet felt glued to the floor, weighing me down where I stood just behind Jisung. Jisung was stiff, as I was a block of stone, he was ice, tense with what I could see to be a look of perplextion and shock.
I wanted to call out to him. I wanted to call out to Felix, and I opened my mouth to but I was cut off by the whimper of fear he let out before he was grasping chan who was beside.
Oh...
He was scared...of the house?
I looked around the dusty room, stained with our trauma and childhood. Even I felt pierce my body and run through my veins by even being this room. Needles pricked my fingers that twitched as evidence I was still breathing. I felt dead in this room.
I looked back at him, expecting his eyes to be on the marked walls with little specs of dried blood and substances but he stared at me?
Oh...I see.
He was scared of me.
And...
I know why...
The reason...
That scares me more than anything...
Chan and Hyunjin managed to get Felix settled. The blonde was disorientated, blankly blinking around the room like no of it was real. Like he was in a dream. But sadly, he wasn't.
It was real. And sometimes he'd come back to reality for a moment, eyes wide and glazed in fear in utter silence. His lip would tremble, he'd open his mouth to scream again, ghastly as if he couldn't get out of the nightmare so he'd scream in hopes of being heard. But no sound would come out. In comparison to the one he let out earlier, it paled down to something of a pitiful whimper, and he'd fall limp against the rough material of the couch.
Minho had swiftly left to another room, stone-faced as he sat with Seungmin and Jeongin, both boys gazes pinned on him, wondering, curious but just as silent.
It was obvious this house was one of trauma. Felix was suffering and they couldn't put a name on whatever it was. He had a fever? His skin was hot to touch and he may have been hallucinating?
And Minho...he may not have been as physical as Felix in terms of reactions, but he looked as if fear had crawled down his throat and kept him from breathing properly.
Everyone couldn't help but be concerned. What was going on?
??? POV
Life is miserable. It is.
It's the same shit everyday.
I look at the lives of other families.
Mines so fucking pitiful.
I hate it.
I hate them.
The same shit everyday with no escape. I look in the mirror then I look at them. I can't help but want to take a knife and destroy their similarities to me.
Relation by blood.
I hate it.
Disgusting. So rancid that puke crawls up my throat.
I sit on the couch, wasting away, bottle of something of poison that I shouldn't drink but I do anyways.
I drown myself in the poison. It tastes so good.
This stupid house is miserable.
It's so rotten.
Every time I look at their faces I'm overwhelmed with animosity.
I throw the bottle at the wall and it smashes, glass breaking everywhere.
It's so satisfying to hear the sound it makes when it breaks.
I like the sound of crying too, the pain and suffering forced out in one pitiful, ugly noise. Filled with so much emotion that I just find to be so pathetic.
I don't care for them though.
I don't care for their pain.
I don't care for their suffering.
I don't care how much tears they shed before they realise that I don't love them.
I don't care how many ways they hurt.
Mental. Physical. Emotional.
It's fun.
It's my own gain.
I don't care.
They look at me with love.
They tell me they love me but I don't respond.
It's rotten. I don't care.
Parasites in my life honestly.
I can't help but feel utter animosity. One look and my mouth fills with bile and I'm wanting to rid my life of them.
So I'll play the part for now.
I'll give you that security.
You say you love me? I'll smile back as I hold behind my back a knife.
In my mind, you've died more than a billion times.
And each one, I lack the emotion to produce a tear.
The same shit everyday but my rage and hatred for you only builds.
The best part?
I have the knowledge. I have the knowledge that I'm a terrible person. I know who I am. But I won't ever change.
I won't better myself. I won't do it.
Not for anyone.
God.
If this place is the house I die in,
I'll take them with me.
An:
I am so so sorry guys. Honestly my updates have been so fucking slow. I may take a short break as my life is chaos and I'm going through so much stuff rn so life sucks balls. No motivation to work, write, do absolutely anything. I was too tired to even proofread.
I'll try to come back with a clearer head because I love this book and I'm scared I'll uninterest (if that's a word?) people or people will drop my book? Or everyone will forget the plot? Goddamnnnn. Sorry for the rant but please bear with me. Thank you all for your support. It means so much to me.
