I Don't Want to be Friends

023 The Feelings Pit

𝔼𝕡𝕚𝕤𝕠𝕕𝕖 𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕖: 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔽𝕖𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ℙ𝕚𝕥

"Oi Ant, could you pretend to be a reference for me"? "Umm, no are you dense? Are you forgetting what you did or..." "Daniella, not everything is about you. I kissed him because I was vulnerable he didn't even really want to kiss me back so calm down." "You seem to have a habit of that don't you Harper? You know Dusty, Malakai..." "Low blow." "I think I've earned that by now". "Daniella, you weren't even bloody together! You still aren't from what I've heard. So why are you making such a big deal out of it-" "Because you know how I feel. It's called respect. Amerie and Malakai aren't together should I just go and kiss him. You know what maybe I will..." I turn to walk away and Harper grabs my arm. Anthony looks as though he has something to say but stays quiet. I think he feels guilty. "Don't kiss Malakai. I'm sorry. I'm going through a lot and-" "Just because you're going through things doesn't give you the excuse to be shit. Learn to deal with your shit in healthy ways that don't hurt other people". I turn to walk away and I can hear Ant follow me.

"Are you mad at me uh- too?" He asks shyly. "It's kind of hard to be mad at you when you're all dressed up" I say noticing his nice slacks and tie. "It's for the fundraiser, I'm Spider's vice ant-" "Oh my gosh! I forgot that was today. I was going to ask Woodsy if I could tag along and watch. I've been wanting to see what goes on there since my cousin told me about it in grade eight." "So you're not mad at me?" "Did you give me a reason to be?" I ask looking up at him confused. "Well... no. So, if you aren't mad then when are we going to talk about-" "Ant not now", I say walking away, "I need to find Woodsy and convince her to let me go". I turn around and can't help but feel bad.

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"Woodsy! I know I'm not a vice or running for school captain, but I'd really love to attend the fundraising to observe. Or even help. As an independent party for the school. So that whoever wins the most money, anything I receive would be added onto their earnings. I just want to attend. PLEASE!" She stares at me blankly. I don't know what it means. That's when the three candidates and their vice's walk in.

"The Sydney Inter-Outer East Women's Association Pitch Day is an annual tradition. Your talking points" Woodsy starts as she hands out note cards, "These women provide campaign funding to the nominated school captains of underprivileged schools to help develop future leaders. Last year, each party raised over $1,000 each. Historically, the party that raises the most amount of money goes on to win the election. Also this year, we will have a volunteer, Miss Reid." "What! That's not fair. She'd either be biased for Amerie or her boy toy". Sasha complains. I can't help but to roll my eyes. "I'll have you know that she is going as an independent party and is only getting money for the school, not just campaigns. Shall we leave?" Woodsy corrected.

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The room was like a banquet hall. It was so fancy with hors d'oeuvres that look delicious. "So what's your cause?" I get asked by some woman who looks like every other in the room. "Oh, I'm actually here to observe. But, I do think if the school could use any type of funding, I guess it should be put towards our curriculum. I don't think we learn enough of necessary things for life. We really need better teaching and teachers. Really just a better school environment but-" I get interrupted by Woodsy telling us all to wrap it up.

"So is it everything that you hoped?" "Actually no. I think I realize more and more how dramatic my cousin is" I laughed. "So do you think we could talk about us now or?..." "Can we do it after school? I'm exhausted" I ask and look up at him. He looks defeated but I really don't know what to say to him. I don't know if I'm in love with him, want him back, or just don't want to see him with other people. And I hate that because I can see that he's unhappy. I really, truly want him to be happy. I want to be a reason he's happy. I just don't know how.