Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x M!Reader

Forty-Three

The world started to fall apart around lunchtime.

It all started with a call, nothing special, just your mother. But as soon you picked up instant regret washed over you.

She was sobbing. Not just that but she sounded straight up hysterical. First there were screams, then apologies, she begged for forgiveness.

All you could do was stand in the middle of the room, your phone on your ear and stare into nothing. Your body didn't even react. No trembling, no shaking.

Just subtle, shallow breathing while the feeling of suffocating washed over you. Your fingers clawed into the phone, threatened to break the device under the tension.

Kyle stared at you. Emptiness yet worry shimmered in the dark brown of his eyes.

He knew.

It was awful to stand there like this, right in front of him, while he knew what a failure of a father you were. Shame and painful fear filled the pit of your stomach.

"I think...", you had to cut yourself off, turned on your heel and rushed into the kitchen to bend over the sink.

The taste of acid crawled up your throat. It tasted like failure. Like a bad father figure. Like everything you had sworn not to be.

Tears filled your eyes as your stomach started to twist and push everything out that you had eaten a few hours before.

Vomit poured into the sink, covered your lips and made your head spin. You cried and threw up and cried some more.

Fear was gone and anger grew.

"Fuck!", you gasped, digging your nails into the edge of the sink to keep yourself from falling to the ground.

Kyle closed the distance between the two of you. But he stopped as you threw a glance at him from the corner of your eyes.

With his lips pressed into a thin line he lowered his eyes and positioned himself on the other side of the kitchen island.

Gasping for air you opened the tap. Clear liquid washed your breakfast and stomach fluids away. It was cold to the touch as you wiped your mouth.

Your eyes flickered.

"Kyle...", your voice trembled as you tried to explain yourself.

"Did she?", he asked, both careful and at the verge of bursting anger. "Did Kimmy..?"

You sucked in a sharp breath, had to squeeze your eyes shut to keep a whimper at bay. Tension made your shoulders feel like stone, stiff and painful to move a single inch.

"My kids...", you pressed out between clenched teeth. "She locked herself in the hotel room. And she won't let them go..."

Kyle's fingers flinched. They curled into fists. He took such a deep breath that it made you look up. Trails of salt ran down your face.

But you couldn't cry nor scream. You felt like dying. Or maybe killing someone.

Yeah, it would feel better to kill someone. Kimmy.

For a brief moment the two of you just stared at each other. Thoughts passed the brown of his eyes, he visibly looked upset. But at the same time there was something different on his face as well.

He had a plan.

"Kyle?", you tried to gather the last bit of your composure.

His head tilted to the side. Once more Kyle avoided to look at you. Then he swallowed hard.

"Police?", he asked, eyebrows knitted together.

A sigh made your throat vibrate. The feeling of desperation returned. Burying your face in your hands you tried to keep the anger about the failed legal system in check.

"All of this shouldn't have happened!", your voice trembled, hoarse from the held back anger. "She isn't even allowed to be near them!"

"(Y/N).", Kyle's voice was like a rock in the middle of the raging ocean. "Is the police informed?"

You wiped your face, eye bags started to grow, made you look tired and weak. Exactly how you felt in this moment. All of a sudden the world felt dull, grey. As if you looked at your own body from above.

"(Y/N).", Kyle's voice sounded like an echo inside your ears. "Hey..."

You blinked. Tightness wrapped around your lungs, squeezed your throat. Your pupils pulled together yet you didn't see.

Everything was blurry. Everything started to spin.

And you breathed and breathed but it felt like no air wanted to saturate your blood circulation. It felt like your insides dried out.

And once more your stomach wanted to empty itself. But there was nothing left inside. Instead, everything pulled together. Pain chased through your muscles, pierced your flesh.

"(Y/N).", all of a sudden there was Kyle's hand on your shoulder. "Are the police informed?"

"Yes! YES! They want to negotiate with her! But she's insane! She won't negotiate! She'll hurt them!"

Your head snapped up. The world before your eyes pulled together like a tunnel. And at the other end of it was Kyle's face, soft, loving.

Smiling sadly, he kneeled down to pull you into a hug. His warmth seeped into your body, he smelled fresh, of soap and water.

Without hesitation you wrapped your arms around him, pulled him as close as possible. You wanted to crawl into his chest and hide from everything.

"Deep breaths.", he said, his voice rough inside your ears.

It was like a lifeline that he threw you. And you reached out to grab it. So tight that it made your fingers cramp.

You wanted to live. And you wanted your sons back.

Your lips trembled. With every breath you crawled back into reality, dug your nails into the ground and pulled yourself back into a sane state of mind.

Now all that was left was anger.

"Kyle...", you chuckled, eyes wide open. "I might not... I don't know what I'll do when I see her..."

It wasn't just a confession but the cold hard truth. If you were to face Kimmy now you were unsure if she'd leave the confirmation alive.

Gentle, he caressed your back. It was soothing but failed to make you take back the words that had left your mouth.

"I need to make a call.", he said, calm and so full of dedication. "And then I need you to put on some shoes. We'll go get them."