Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x M!Reader

Forty-Four

You couldn't remember the last time your body had been this tense. Perhaps it had never happened before. But this was a once in a lifetime experience.

If you were unlucky it would happen again.

No, sucking in a sharp breath you squeezed your eyes shut and shook off these thoughts. But the feeling of pressure kept its claws buried in the back of your neck.

"Fuck...", it slipped off your lips with a sigh.

Shivering, you buried your face in your hands, wiped it many, many times. But there was no way to get calmer than you already were.

Your entire existence was on the edge. It was a fight or die kinda thing. There was no back nor forth. Either someone pulled you away from the edge of give you the final push.

"Fuck...", you sighed again.

Tears started to burn in the corners of your eyes. But those weren't tears of fear nor pain. It was cold, raw frustration. The feeling of helplessness.

You were useless. If there was one person in this entire world that your kids should be able to trust without hesitation it was you.

And you had failed this trust. You had failed as a father.

Wrapped in silence, Kyle turned the car. Dedication burned in his eyes. Ever since the two of you had gotten into the car he seemed to think about one thing in particular.

But he wouldn't tell. If only you could have read his mind. Maybe it was better this way. You could only imagine what was going on in his mind.

"You didn't have to drive me...", you whispered, desperate to chase away this tense silence that stabbed every inch of your brain. "This is not your fight... not your responsibility."

Now his eyes narrowed. Wrinkles appeared on his forehead, his lips curled as he started to chew on the inside of his cheek.

"Stop it.", he simply said.

Relief washed over you. A smile grew on your lips, both soft yet so desperate. You wanted to hold onto him so that he would never leave.

But that would have been unfair. He wasn't obligated to be by your side while the mother of your children was being a menace to the whole world.

Your world.

But he did. Because he wanted to. Because he was a good man. Maybe too good for the wreck that you were. And yet. You were glad that he was here in this moment.

Supporting as best as he could.

It didn't fix anything, didn't save your kids from the danger of an addict in a lunatic state of oblivion. But it lifted some of the weight off your shoulders.

"Kyle...", tears clouded your vision.

He pushed down on the gas. The car sped up, wide fields and cows passed by. It was foggy, felt cold and dull. As if the world was about to collapse on top of your head.

But Kyle kept on driving. He was nothing but serious. Not a single doubt could be seen on his face.

"(Y/N).", he reached out to grab your hand and give it a squeeze so firm that it almost hurt. "Stop it. I'm not leaving now."

"You don't have to do this. This is bullshit..."

"I love you.", he took his eyes off the road for a split second to meet yours. "And the boys. And if this keeps going on... they'll be my kids too. Fuck Kimmy. She doesn't deserve them."

Something tied your throat shut. All the air was pushed out of your lungs, made you choke on hope and joy. Your fingers curled to keep him close, keep him from pulling away.

You needed him. Needed something to hold onto.

"I love you...", it slipped off your lips. "Thank you."

A single tear ran down your face. He smiled mildly, tried but still trying to keep the spirit up, even though he clearly struggled with this situation as well.

Moments of silence passed in which he just caressed the back of your hand with his thumb.

Then, all of a sudden, the sky cleared and a small castle appeared at the edge of the road.

Your breath hitched as you shifted in your seat. It felt like your legs wanted to jump out the car mid drive and run. As if that would have been any faster.

Cars waited at the side of the road, right before the gate. It was locked, two police officers guarding the entrance.

Kyle stopped the car before they could take note of your presence and turned off the engine. The beating of your heart was up in your throat.

"I need you to have some patience now, okay?", he turned his head to meet your gaze. "I might be able to do something. But you gotta trust me on this one."

Confused, you frowned, shook your head. But before a single word could leave your mouth your attention was grabbed by a movement in the corner of your eyes.

Struck by surprised, you flinched as a man dressed in all back knocked at Kyle's window. He didn't turn to look at the stranger. He just waited for you to agree.

Swallowing hard, you nodded.

The window rolled down. The stranger, a man in his late twenties to early thirties rested his arms on the edge of it and leaned just far enough inside to be able to talk to Kyle.

Blue eyes traveled over your face. Thick eyebrows lifted slightly.

"Who's that?", he asked with a thick Scottish accent and gestured with his chin towards you.

"The less you know the better. Spares you some trouble in case we get into some.", Kyle responded and glanced up at the man.

A smirk tugged at the man's lips. Deep dark beard hair covered his face. His hair was cut into a mohawk.

"I came all this way for ya, didn't ask a single question.", he pointed at you in a casual manner. "But you don't trust me with a name?"

He let out a slightly annoyed huff. His ego was hurt. Kyle looked at you for a brief moment.

"That's (Y/N).", he then said. "My boyfriend. The kids are his."