40: Trembling Hands

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What happens after one of us dies? Besides turning into a cannibalistic monster

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What happens after one of us dies? Besides turning into a cannibalistic monster. Is there such thing as heaven and hell? Or is there just a big black pit of nothing at the end?

My mind spiralled as I thought about the aspect of death, deciding what to do about Negan. Saving one man's life may be my good deed of the day but I had to weigh the pros and cons. And there were many pros to letting Negan perish. One deciding factor I pondered over the most was Maggie.

She wanted Negan dead more than anyone for leaving her husbandless and her son fatherless. If my decision allowed him to survive would she hate me more than she already did? If I saved him would I finally be forgiven?

But.... One thing was certain, Daryl would never in a million years allow Negan near me ever again!

That night I laid in bed and pretended to sleep even when Daryl tried to wake me up. Thankfully he didn't press too hard and just held onto me throughout the night which did bring me some comfort and allowed me to sleep. When I woke I stared at the ceiling and contemplated telling Daryl about what Michonne and Rick told me. He had a right to know. After all, he was my partner and I hated the thought of keeping secrets from him.

"Finally awake?" Daryl's scratchy voice asked.

"Yes." I spoke lowly.

Daryl turned me over so I faced him. Placing his hand on my cheek he scanned my face.

"What happened last night?" His blue eyes held a hint of worry.

"Negan wants to talk to me." I bit my lip. "And they believe that I should go see him."

"What does he want?" Daryl's jaw clenched.

"He wants to die."

"Why does that matter?" His brows furrowed. "And what does that have to do with you?"

"They think I'm his only hope."

"Have they lost their minds? Obviously this is just another tactic to get what he wants!" Daryl huffed, sitting up in the bed. "You told them it's not gonna happen, right?"

"I did." I nodded.

Daryl's brows furrowed as his eyes roamed my face, "Why does it sound like you're having second thoughts?"

I gulped, "I wanted to hear your thoughts first, Daryl. Truth is, if I can help I want to. But I won't as I see how uncomfortable it makes you."

Daryl released a deep breath before reaching over and squeezing my hand. "I appreciate it."

As Daryl dressed himself I too forced myself out of the bed and readied myself for the day.

Daryl threw on his leather jacket before tossing me mine. After tying on our boots we walked together down the road towards the main gate. As we passed the old station house where Negan was being held I couldn't help but glance over at the gloomy building. Before Daryl noticed I forced myself to look away.

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