roomies (Harry Styles FanFiction)

Chapter 24

okay but this pictureHAHAHAHA

SIDE NOTE; IM SO SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IN FOREVER

I DONT LIKE THIS CHAPTER BUT

ENJOY

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"What?" I ask, making eye contact.

"I love you." he sighs, reaching for me, but I take a step back.

I sigh feeling torn. Do I love him? It feels like it. I've been borderline depressed for the past two weeks, just because I wasn't with him. He broke my heart, but how can I get my heart broken, without being in love?

And how would I still want him back even after all of this shit? All of these things that have happened.. And I still craved his touch?

No I'm not in love. I'm just whipped. I'm whipped on him, I'm wrapped around his finger, I'm controlled by him. I'm not in love. How could I be?

Has it even been two months? How could someone fall in love so fast? I can't be in love with him.

I'm in love with who I thought he was. I'm in love with who he was before he screwed things up. I'm in love with him at his best, but not his worst. So I don't truly love him. I can't.

Who am I kidding?

I do love him.

And I hate it.

"I love you, but I hate what you do to me." I say in a faint whisper, new tears falling down my face.

He looks at me sadly and intently before taking a step closer.

"We can make this work.."

"We can't. God, I don't love you, I'm just infatuated with you." I say, him wincing. "Screw it, we both know that isn't true, I guess I might, but this won't work out. I love you for who you are, but I hate you for what you do. That isn't -" I ramble but my mouth goes dry as he places his hand on my cheek, his thumb running under my eye, cleaning up my tears.

"Stop." I whisper. "And how do I know you love me? You deserted me."

"When I was without you, I've never felt like that, I just felt like I'd never go back to normal, nothing has ever affected me like that. And the worse part was that I noticed while you were gone, that's when I realized that I loved you, a lot." He states.

My heart flutters for a second until I realize something.

"Well, none of this matters." I snap and his face fills with hurt. "You may love me, and I might love you, but that can't deny that this will never work. That we are complete opposites, and this will be your typical disaster relationship. You hurt me, I take you back, you do the same thing again a bunch of times, we get married, and I live the rest of my life unhappy. You will get bored with me and have an affair, it's-"

"You're overthinking. When did I ever mention marriage? I do want to be back together, but I can change, I won't always be like I was these past weeks, I won't treat you bad-" he interrupts me, but I do to interrupt him back.

"You say that so much! You say you won't hurt me, you say you won't do things, and I know this isn't your fault, but just look where we are? Look what we've done to each other.. Let's just give up, and let this go." I sigh.

He inches a bit closer, his face centimeters from mine.

"I'm so sorry, I can't even explain it." He sighs. "There's nothing I can do to make this up, and I know that. I'm not making any excuses for myself right now, I want you to know how sorry I am."