Punk & Metal

In My Private Folder

Luke began to deepen the kiss, and I felt my heart stutter and I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer. I felt like I was falling down a spiral, but I didn't mind. I ran my hands through his hair and he moaned ever so slightly. To get even he slid his hand up my shirt from the small of my back, making me gasp.

He started kissing my neck when reality slapped me. I pushed Luke off with such force he fell flat on his back on the ground. I sat up and curled in on myself, holding my knees up to my chest. What have I done? What am I doing? What was I thinking. Luke stood up and came to the same realization. He bit his lip and sat across from me on the same couch. The both of us were trying to avoid any eye contact. 

"Well, I know now."

"What do you know?"

"I like you."

I took a gulp and tried scooting further away.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm gonna go to Michael's room," I whispered.

Luke groaned and grabbed my wrist, "Please don't do that."

"Why?"

"We just made out, and now you're gonna go sleep in another man's bed?"

OH HELL NO.

"HE'S MY BOYFRIEND LUKE!"

He looked down as I marched away, "This was a mistake, and it'll never happen again," I scolded.

I entered Mike's room and quickly ran under the covers. I made a burrito out of the blankets and tried to convince myself that this never happened. I never walked in on Luke, I never started crying, he never held me tight, he never kissed me, I never kissed him. Luke does not like me. 

The more I tried fighting it, the more I started to questioning it. Had Wyatt infected me? What was I THINKING? I am in a relationship with a great boy, and here I am making out with his best friend while he's off recording or whatever. I've never cheated. I've always been the one to walk in on my boyfriend cheating. But I've never been on the other end. 

Was I going hell? I mean it was obvious Wyatt was because he's an asshole. But what about me? Will I get kicked out of heaven for this? What would Julia say... no. She doesn't have to know. She won't know. God forbid she freaking finds out and tells Michael. Oh god, and if she tells my mom. Yanno, it really sucks when your best friend of like 9 or 10 years knows your parents very well. 

I can't sleep like this. The thoughts were raging through my mind and I couldn't stop it. I was feeling guilt, regret, anger, and sadness all at the same time and I couldn't handle it. I was wishing that this was all a dream, that I was in my bed at my apartment and when I'd open my eyes, I would be all nice and comfy in my home. When I blinked several times though, it didn't happen. I was still in Michael's room. I was still in his bed. In his covers. I was staining his room with Luke, and I felt sick.

I couldn't imagine how many times Wyatt had brought her smell into our bed. Or how when we'd stay up late he would be using the moves he learned from her...

"Fuck," I whisper-screamed.

I felt my eyes water, and just closed my eyes. This couldn't be real. I suck.

~~~

LUKE POV

Crap. Crap crap crap crap.

What have I done? She's dating Michael. Why did you do that man? What is he going to say when he finds out? Will he leave her? Dump her and make her cry? 

Will he leave me...?

I shouldn't have kissed her...but I couldn't stop. She's like chips, you can't just have one and be done.