Always (Afire Love #1)

46 - When I'm With You - Channing Winstead

*that cool banner made by @sofiamillares
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Part 1
Winter is the one season which I hate, once loved, and now hate it again, even more than before. It brings back all the memories as this season was where it was all started. The 'it' moment that turned out to be the reason I have my first heartbreak.

Memories, I thought I was making memories with him, the kind of which I can recall to make me feel good about them. I didn't expect these would be the exact opposite. I never meant these would be history.

History is something that you learn from so that you don't make the same mistake or that you take as inspiration for a better future. Memory should be something that you would like to recall in the future and preferably repeated.

Now each time I'm on my laptop, I have to face with the reminders of the memories. Stupid wallpaper, I say to my desktop background, a picture of Chace and I that was taken in front of Massachusetts State House.

I feel sorry for that girl who was smiling so happy. She didn't know her boyfriend would break her heart; he cheated on her and lied about it. That pure happiness in her eyes showed how naïve she was to think he would never break her trust.

I change that stupid wallpaper which definitely reminds me how innocent I was to truly trust him. "Damn you Chace!" I mumble to the picture.

I look at many other pictures saved in my laptop. I've always wanted to delete them since the day we broke up but I just can't. They are so beautifully shot. Deep down I must have that slight hope that somehow we can be together again.

It's Saturday and I have nothing to do. I think I'll drown myself in these memories. I want to cry to make me feel better. I haven't cried a bit because I have acted so prideful, realistic and logical to all of this. Like Autumn said, no matter what happens I always try to look fine.

But I. Am. Not. fine. I'm hurt, broken. I want to shed tears as it might be able to make me feel better, a little better. Nina is going out and most likely won't come until tomorrow morning. I have this room for myself and I have the time to dwell.

***
August 7.

I couldn't sleep that night. I got out of my bed and went to the kitchen. It was all dark, the whole apartment, only a small lamp from the center room which gave dim light. Chace preferred to leave it dark in the night.

I walked carefully to get to the refrigerator. I wanted to drink something fresh. I could have iced coffee in can, juice or milk. I knew Chace had many kinds of beverages in his refrigerator.

Oh the milk in bottle seemed to look fresh. I loved milk, any dairy product actually. I took the milk and was going to drink it in the center room while listening to some music on my phone.

Although it was very quiet and I was the only one up, I had clothes on which wasn't too much revealing skin, in case Chace was awake or drunk. He was barely drunk though, for so long as I had been here.

I entered the center room and was startled by someone bumping on me. "No!" I screamed as the bottle was slipping off my grip.

"Aw!" I recognized that masculine voice. Chace.

I guessed the bottle was dropped on his foot. Then it was shattered on the floor. I couldn't see it clearly in the dark.

"Don't move!" Chace warned me.

It was too late, I took a step and a piece of shattered bottle got in my foot. "Agh! Damn!" I felt that my foot was bleeding.

"Told you!" he scolded me. "Be careful." With no second thought, he brought me in his arms to the couch. He was shirtless so I felt his warm skin on mine.