THE BABY MILL [[{SHINee}]]

THE BABY MILL [[44]] GESTATIONAL AGE

            Junpyo’s voice was low and soothing as he spoke to Onew. The carrier was so out of it, though, that for once he didn’t find his voice obnoxious and annoying. It was the tone of voice that he centered on more than what he was saying because if he started listening to his baby talk he would be sucked out of the day dream he was having.

            The sun… He could see the sun and trees and feel the breeze ruffle his hair. And he could actually smell the outdoors… For once he wasn’t trapped by the smell of his own body. There was nothing to intoxicate him here.

            “And remember when you ran all the way to my place even though we were having a huge storm just because you wanted to settle the fight we had?”

            “I couldn’t wait! I hate when we fight!”

            “It’s called a phone, you dummy!”

            How they’d laughed together. Onew swore that sometimes he could still feel the doctor’s arms around him and the vibrations in his chest as he laughed at every lame joke he cracked. When was the last time he’d felt that?

            “Hey, you know, when we get little Junew’s room all down we can go out and celebrate,” he recalled Dr. Park saying one day as  they were preparing to go to bed.

           Onew had shuffled a hand through his hair, pulling on the knots that were keeping him from acting smoothly. His caramel hair had tangled around his fingers for a moment but he’d fixed it soon enough, shrugging on an oversized shirt and his boxers so that he could snuggle into the blankets and beckon sleep to him.

            Nostalgia practically drowned the carrier as the normality of the situation came back to him. It was something he’d been dreaming to have for nearly forever.

            That same night he’d crawled into the bed, scooting close to Junpyo, to the doctor, to his partner in life and love so he could use him as a pillow – their usual bed time tradition.

            “Who said we were calling him Junew?” he’d asked, the name sounding even stupider when he pronounced it out loud. Not that it was a horrible name, but Onew hadn’t thought, and still to this day he thought the same, that it would be a name suitable for any child of his.

            Junpyo had chuckled. Gentle, floating almost to his ear and making his head bounce pleasantly against his chest. That arm had snaked around him, protecting him from being reached by the pain of the world and the evil people inside of it.

            Had he only known that he was being held away from evil because the Devil himself had something planned for him already.

            Fate was cruel.

            “And soon we’ll have one all to ourselves.”

            “And he’ll be beautiful,” Onew had agreed, his exhaustion making it difficult to speak above a whisper.

            Maybe he would have been… Maybe it was better for him – Junew or whatever name they would have dubbed their child – that fate had intervened so hardly. Lady Fate had probably known that the Devil was waiting to house him, but she’d had too much to juggle along with this and panicked. She may have slipped up just a bit, but Onew was still thankful… At this point he was most certain that Lady Fate had not done this to spite him, rather she chose to save the life of the one more innocent than his, even if it had ended up in a lack of life on both their parts.

            “So if now Junew, than what?”

            A pause while Onew threw the name he’d chosen in his head. There were all the emotions that came with jumping into something new. Nervous, jittery butterflies mixed in with the rush of soaring on cloud nine.

            “How about Taemin?”

            “It’s perfect.”

            All good things came to an end… There’d been a telephone call a few days later… A fight and then Onew had woken up with his body enflamed with pain, head pounding, stomach clenching. The first thought he’d had was that things were different.

            The room was different. No more crept, no colour on the walls, no window. The bed had shrunk to something meant for a child. And he couldn’t feel the softness of his own sheets any more… of the heat of a body next to him. Not even a month after that fight and somehow everything had spiralled into something he had a feeling would never be the same again.

            “Soon we’ll have almost twenty babies here… With all the boys being fertilized. Maybe we’ll finally be able to get a normal one… I don’t feel like spending more time and money on a cleft lip again.”

            How could such a deep, attractive voice that had once made him shiver as it spoke in his ear, speak so casually about this monstrosity of a business? It wasn’t even a business. As far as Onew knew, money came from the normal part of the clinic. Everything produced here was a trophy – something to boost the doctor’s morale. He was playing God.

            Lady Fate had not spited them, yet the doctor was spiting her.

            “But they’re nearing perfection. Ours especially…”

            It’s perfect.

            “Dr. Park! Carrier 32 is under situation AX-2, case one; assistance is needed immediately!”

            Where was that voice coming from?

            Onew’s head was spinning, trying to figure all these things out. He wanted to drift back to that happy place in the park… In those warm arms…

            “Just say they escaped and skip the codes, you blabbering idiot!” Dr. Park screamed with all tenderness flushed out of the voice he’d been using earlier.

            And just like that… Everything was gone again.

            Onew turned to look at the curtain separating him from the rest of the world. He still wasn’t sure whether or not he’d dreamed everything. Yesterday he’d heard voices in that small section where he knew TaeMin resided. But then again, he was so gone and out of this world that he could never be sure about what he heard.

            All he could trust now was what he felt.

            Pain, and the nervous, jittery butterflies in his stomach that made his toes curl and chest tighten in anticipation.