THE BABY MILL [[{SHINee}]]

THE BABY MILL [[8]] INSEMINATION

Why did it have to hurt so much?

            Why did it have to be so painful?

            Why was there so much pain?

            Why did his body hate him?

            Why was the burning only getting worse?

            Why did he have to suffer through this?

            Why did his legs refuse to move?

            Why was everything throbbing?

            Why was the world spinning?

           Questions like these battered each other in the prison of JongHyun’s skull. Leaning against the wall as he was, there wasn’t much for him to do anyway. Nothing to do except question reality and wait for the answer that were never going to come.

            Not even crickets chirped in response.

            The only thing that answered the deflated man was the hum of the air purifier pumping recycled oxygen into his room.

            How many molecules were occupying his room right now?

            A million? No… It had to be more than that… Maybe a trillion? Six trillion. Six thousand trillion. But what if there was more? There had to be. If there were billions of people inhabiting the planet than there had to be at least ten hundred molecules for each of them.

            Ten hundred multiplied by a billion trillion equalled what?

            A very big number.

            Plus, he had to factor in all the people dying and being born…

            Ten hundred multiplied by a billion trillion minus a dozen thousand dead people and plus a couple hundred babies.

            Oh, boy… He’d forgotten about the animals… And their babies and their dead members… And plants… Old plants and baby plants, too…

            His baby.

            How much oxygen did his baby need? How many molecules did it breathe in? How much carbon dioxide did it exhale? How much H2O did it need? Did it have an X or a Y chromosome? How many toes did it have? Fingers? Did it have his eyes or his carriers? And what did his carrier look like?

            These were the things he wanted to know… He could compile things into a big mathematical equation, but in the end the only thing that truly matter was the x and y. Baby and carrier.

            At least they had something of his to hold on to. The alien child had his DNA and the carrier had his sperm. What did he have of them?

            Nothing.

            That’s what JongHyun had.

            Absolutely nothing.

            He was the negative number trying to fit itself into a square root. He had no solution.

            Zero.

            Zip.

            Nada.

            N-O-T-H-I-N-G.

            He had a baby. The baby had no mommy. Was the baby truly the alien then? Or were they?

            He was starting to drive himself insane with all of the questions he had.

            It didn’t matter who was the wrong number in his little equation. He wouldn’t be able to get an answer until he met the two who had pieces of him. Even a small glimpse would give him the clue needed to sift through the numbers and settle on a conclusion.

            People were numbers here so he might as well treat them like math. Because math wasn’t able to solve its own problems like him. Math needed that extra person to come in and fix the mess it had made for itself. JongHyun needed someone to fix him… He’d gotten himself into a big mess…

            All he had wanted was to work in the medical field and create miracles for people. Instead, he was gradually picking off at his sanity.

            Cabin fever or depression?

            Did his carrier feel the same?

            So many questions…

            He didn’t even understand why he cared so much. It wasn’t like he was the only donor matched to a carrier. Or whose carrier had given birth. Albeit, there weren’t many donors with successful carriers… He was donor number twenty-seven after all…Not even top five that Dr. Park and his bitches boasted about every chance they had.

Who knew how many babies were napping behind these walls? Or how many dead boys were rotting behind the locked doors?

            Once JongHyun had pictured himself with a child and married to a nice girl who would bear him a son or daughter. He would squish its tiny toes and place loving kisses all over its mini scaled body. If he had a child he would spend as he could filming it so he could look back at his baby and reminisce about every first movement and noise it made. He would have loved that baby and its mother forever… Because they’d be a part of him.

            Why did it hurt so much?

             The pulsating pain in his limp member had travelled up to his chest where it was happily eating away at his heart. Picking off a morsel, dousing it in a sauce of loneliness and popping it in its mouth like popcorn chicken.

            JongHyun was so wrapped up in his self pity that when the door was swung open it took him by surprise. His body gave a start, nearly tripping over its own limbs. Two men flanked that terrifying woman covered in a dragging white lab coat. Her clipboard dug into the front of her hip, looking like it could slice anyone at any given moment as easily as a newly sharpened machete could. She stared over her half moon glasses at the papers pinned on there. Her presence unnerved JongHyun since she never showed up unless for important reasons. And by important reasons he meant to supervise the man who’d squeezed him until he came and to watch his buddy who beat him for talking back. There was nothing good that could associate with this woman.

            “Why are you out of bed?” she asked, her nasal voice sounding like air being squeezed out of a balloon. “Never mind that,” she dismissed shortly after.

            Her pen scrawled down something quickly before she looked up again.

            “I’ve got orders from Dr. Park to oversee your transfer. He’ll welcome you to your new quarters when we reach the area. Help him up.”

            JongHyun couldn’t even open his mouth. Not that he would have anyway… The tow burly men wrapped their gruff fingers around his armpits, hauling him up to his feet. They barely allowed him time to balance before heading off at a brisk pace behind the lady. Blood rushed to his head, blinding him and then clearing out again.

            Why did no one ever tell him the details?

            He hated how they only ever told him the basic information and left out all of the stuff he lusted for.