THE BABY MILL [[{SHINee}]]

THE BABY MILL [[12]] CONTRACTIONS

            He couldn’t believe that he was already being transferred. Barely three days could have passed since he’d been whisked off to the delivery room to free himself of that baby… At least he still got to use the wheelchair. From what he’d been able to hear in the aftermath haze of the birth, they’d had to dislocate his hips in order for the baby to pass through…

            Because men aren’t supposed to have children.

            He wondered if the sun was up… It’d been a while since he’d seen some real sunlight… Were skies still blue or had they turned a permanent grey like the skies coating his life? And birds… Did they still sing the same happy song or had it turned into a tear jerking sonnet that they bellowed out to the wind at times when they were most lonely?

            Everything was so blue these days… Maybe his artificial hormones were screwing with his emotions. Was that even possible? Did he have hormones? If he had female hormones would his voice get higher and his chest bigger? He could have sworn that milk was squeezing out of his nipples before…

            Women got the pleasure to breast feed their children… Why couldn’t he? If he had the means, why wouldn’t they let him?

            Because he was a man.

            A man for crying out loud!

            But still… He wanted his child…

            Key remembered a girl at the modeling agency that he left on maternity leave and had returned a few months later to visit with her baby. The resemblance between her and her daughter had been scarily similar; both of them sporting brown eyes and button noses. And the baby’s fingers were so tiny they could barely wrap around his one fingers and she’d had toes not even half the size. It had been the epitome of adorable, but nothing that Key had desired to have in that time. With the career path he had chosen to walk down, there was no room for children.

            In the modeling industry, there was only room for self-centered divas that cared not about others, but solely about the cat walk and photo shoots they were scheduled for that day. When models signed their contracts they did not sign to agree to have their extra bundles and burdens able to tag along with them…

            Things changed…

            He could see now why women chased after the idea of families. With his eyes focused in that perspective he saw it clearly. After days, weeks, and months of nurturing the bond of love between him and his foetus he had deciphered a clear image that had stirred some motherly instincts in him that had made him want to rock his crying child, test the temperature of the milk on his wrists, and even – God forbid, the hormones may have been driving him into a near mad state – change the stinky diapers. The tendrils of his scrambled love had knotted themselves into a tight braid of motherhood. Motherhood…

            Fatherhood.

            Key would never be able to feel what it’s like to walk in his father’s shoes. His toes would never reach the end of those sneakers… Thinking of his father, he wondered how his father had fared while raising him…

His parents had always been more than good to him and made sure that Key had had access to the things that he desperately wanted and that he needed to grow into the individual that he’d become.

            Although his mother had been the one to drive him to all his modeling sessions and shopping trips and all things of that sort it was because she could connect to Key on that aspect of his life. His father had been a bit disconnected from him, not always being there to support Key through his most important events like his first runway show, but his happiness had been his number one priority for the whole of his life and it probably still would be when he passed on. When Key had told him about his dreams of joining the model industry and the proposal that an agent had already made to him on behalf of a large company he’d disagreed vociferously. After simmering down and skimming through the information again, though, he’d accepted the fact that this was his son’s dream and had supplied him with all the resources he would need in order to live well with the lifestyle he’d chosen.

            Could he have been like that?

            The wheelchair he was riding in hit a snag in the hall and nearly went ricocheting all over the hallway. Pain raced through his hips after they rose and fell down from the bounce; the impact with the seat strangled a groan out of his weak body.

            Bastards, he thought bitterly, fingers clutching at his left hip. They couldn’t have been just a little more prudent. To do so would be asking for far too much.

            “Can’t you fucking get pregnant?!”

            Ice. It froze the air, froze the workers in the doorway and froze Key’s wheelchair right where it was stopped. No sooner had the ice settled, though, the lava started to boil. The ash clouds that had been puffing out of the opening gave way to great heaps of the molten rock that turned the frozen liquids into steam instantly.

            Dr. Park stood in the centermost past of the room; the focal point to the explosion. His chiseled face burned red with rage and his tussled hair seemed to smoke with the shock. Slit eyes bore holes into the group that had intruded in the midst of his tantrum.

            “Can any of you do anything right?!” he suddenly erupted.

            An unfortunate worker who’d been standing nearby was grabbed by the front of his lab coat and thrown into the huddle of employees taking refuge a good ten feet away. He soared down the lane into the people like a bowling ball rolled towards the pins. The collision sounded painful; bones on bones mimicking the noise you would hear in a bowling alley. All but one of the workers tumbled down to the floor.

            Nearly a strike.

            The ones who had brought Key in at this unfortunate time began to apologize profusely to their respected leader. Key, however, found his attention traveling to the boy stuck in the eye of the maelstrom.

            At first, it was hard to recognize the shaking mass of limbs as a boy, but the more he stared the easier it became to identify his human features like the crook of his elbow or the creases between his stomach where the bits of fat he still had left touched together to make miniscule folds. He was half hidden under the table, shadows cloaking his upper half but not enough to blot out the long hair covering his face. His knees were pulled up to just under his nipples which looked an unusual shade of pink-purple. One of his knees was barely able to reach up to the ribs bulging out of his narrow chest.

            The poor boy… Key thought. He looked so broken and sick… Purple and blue spots were already pock marking his grey skin which meant he’d fallen victim to the doctor’s anger before he’d arrived here with his motley crew.

            Did he resemble that?

            A jar of cotton balls shattered against the wall by Key’s head. Bundles of fluffed cotton and glass pieces separated in multiple directions. Normally Key would have flinched, but he was enraptured by the sight of another carrier as this marked the first time he had ever seen another one of “his kind”.

            Something about the unmoving boy fascinated him; captivating his interest so much so that his ears muted all noise and his body numbed all pain and feeling. It must have been a moment of insanity on his behalf because he swore that he could feel their hearts beating together as one. The young boy’s murmuring heart synchronized with his – weak but still present.

            The hair shifted off the boy’s face so that it was left bare. Key could see one of his eyes crying tears of… Of what? Fear, pain, sadness?

            His face was so…

            The wheelchair was tugged roughly backwards, almost sending Key caterwauling to the floor. He was vaguely aware of Dr. Park hollering still about one thing or another, but none of it really registered in his head.

            But that face… My God, that face… He was sure that that boy’s face was going to be engraved in his head for forever and longer still…