Through the Glass k.th [HYYH pt.1]

1

"Farewell hurts, and hurts even more, I don't think I can do this without you, please love me, please love me..."

~ Love is not Over - BTS

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At first, he resisted, telling them that his sister had lied, that he was perfectly sane, but no one believed him. He wasn't sure if it was because his sister had told everyone he knew to testify that he was insane, or if everyone just believed that he was, but no matter what he said, he was met with an irritatingly calm answer from a police officer or a pitiful look.

Worse then that, they kept him in handcuffs. He tried to go calmly, not fight it too much to not feed the idea that his sister had planted in their heads, but it got frustrating when they wouldn't answer his questions, treated him like a little kid. He ended up yelling at them, half screaming and half crying. Everything in his life had just changed and no one was talking to him, treating him like some little dog that barked too much in the backseat.

He'd never felt more alone, or more scared, or more betrayed.

He ended up curling himself into a ball in the backseat, crying his eyes out.

After all this time, he thought his sister had come to love him, that she'd finally gotten over the fact that they weren't related by blood and just accepted him. She knew he looked up to her, wished he could have as many friends as she did, wished everyone loved him like everyone loved her. Why didn't anyone actually love him? Why did everyone want to betray him, or leave him, or play jokes on him?

Years, he'd sat in a orphanage after his real parents just left him there, years, he'd wished someone would adopt him. At first people just thought he was cute, and it made it seem like he'd get adopted right away. But then they'd read his history, read through what he'd gone through, listened as Mrs. Lee would explain and warn them that he probably wasn't right for them. It hurt, everything hurt.

Nothing had changed.

Nothing had changed!

They hauled him out of the car, and Taehyung couldn't say he remembered most of the ride there, but he was sure to remember the rough hands that grabbed him and yanked him into the police station. He just let them, he'd said what he needed to say, done whatever it was he could do. He spent most of the time walking in staring down at his tee-shirt, the white fabric stained red with splatter.

He bit his lip, then looked up as he heard the police chief say his name.

"Kim Taehyung killed his father, that's a fact, but if his sister and his friends insist he's insane, then he's innocent by reason of insanity, he gets to sit in a nice cushy mental hospital." The chief was saying, obviously annoyed that he even had to deal with Taehyung. "Get this murderer out of my face." The chief flicked a pen at him, the object bouncing off Taehyung's chest and rolling away.

Taehyung just stared at him as the officers leading him bowed and took Taehyung by the shoulders again, leading him back out. Murderer? No...No...He wasn't, He wasn't... Their father was hurting her, he hadn't meant... He'd just wanted him to stop.

He felt dead inside. No pleasant thought could bring him out of it, there were no pleasant thoughts in his mind. If he closed his eyes, all he saw was himself stabbing--

They shoved him in the car again. Taehyung didn't care anymore, what did it matter?

He sat in the backseat, silent the whole way, not looking out the window, not listening to the officers talk, just staring at the back of the seat in front of him. He felt like he was going to throw up. I'm not crazy, I'm just stupid. Stupid for believing that everything was ever fine.

~~~

The place they took him to was big, grey, boxy, ugly. They forcibly dragged Taehyung closer to it, but all he could do was look at the building. He knew how mental hospitals worked, you went in, they put you on a dozen drugs, they locked you in a room and let you 'play' with the other people if you behaved. He might never see the outside of this again, this might be the last time he'd ever sit in a car, last time anything wouldn't smell like medicine and disinfectant.

He felt tears coming down his cheeks, and he gave one last fight, screaming and kicking at the officers dragging him. It didn't help, it really only tripped himself up, being that his hands were bound, he couldn't right himself and ended up relying on the officers dragging him to lift him up.

When the men in white coats opened the front door, Taehyung lost all will to stand. If he went in, he knew he'd never come out, he'd never see anyone he knew ever again. Even if he wasn't willing to move, the officers more or less picked him up, carrying him in. He felt like he was going to throw up.

"Ah, this is the new one?" A man in a white coat said, studying Taehyung, looking him up and down like he was a puzzle no one could find a piece for. "Follow me, I have a room prepared for him."

The officers followed him, carrying Taehyung. He kept fighting and screaming. It wasn't like anyone would save him, help him prove that he wasn't crazy, but all the frustration and fear and sadness was too much to keep in, and he wanted everyone to know how broken he felt, how empty he felt.

None of that stopped them from carrying him straight to the room, throwing him on a bed. The force of the landing made him wince, and he closed his eyes, He felt someone undo the handcuffs, and he heard the man in the white coat saying something about doses of something, but when he opened his eyes, the overhead light was so bright and blinding against the white background. It made him dizzy.

"He'll be okay, he can't hurt himself or anyone else in here." He heard the man in the white coat say.

When Taehyung was finally able to see under the bright light, he only saw them just closing the door, a door that had no doorknob on his side, a door that was covered in white padding to match the rest of the room. He immediately got up and ran at the door, throwing his body against it before pounding at it. "Let me out! I'm not crazy! I didn't mean it! I didn't! I thought..." He pounded as hard as he could, but he doubted with all the padding that anyone could hear him.

He stopped pounding, he was only going to bruise himself, and instead he just yelled, not words, not anything specific, just a frustrated, angry, hopeless scream. Then he took the pillow off the bed and ripped the feathers out, took the sheets and tore them down the middle. Even as he did that, he couldn't stop all the tears.

Eventually he noticed there was a clean long-sleeve white shirt set out for him by the bed and he was about to rip that too, when he looked down at himself, seeing all that red again, and decided to wear it, just so when he looked at himself, it would remind him of what happened, so that maybe he might forget.

I can't forget.

Taehyung pulled the bloodstained shirt off, throwing it in the corner, then he put on the clean one, pulling at the sleeves until they were comfortable, and looking down at himself again.

"There, all better..." He whispered, his deep voice sounding a little hoarse and dry from all that yelling and screaming and crying. It wasn't all better, he knew that, he wasn't stupid, but he wanted to believe getting rid of the evidence got rid of the reality, but his hands were still tinted red, he probably still had it on his face too.

The truth was he was stuck in a mental hospital, when he was completely sane, and no one would believe him ever no matter what he said, because his sister was probably telling everyone to say her little brother was crazy.

Did everyone he knew, everyone he'd ever talked to, really hate him that much? Why? Why?

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A/N: Know that Idea that just eats at you until you act on it? That was what this chapter did to me, it begged to be written, and who am I to deny that?

ASHLEY MARIE~! I'm dedicating this to you because you're the bestest bud any homie could ask for~And I wanna hug you for helping me and understanding, and being as sweet as candy <3 You cutie you, saranghae! ^__________^