Claimed│✓

TWENTY-TWO: DEVOTION

[twenty-two]

"Why are you always alone?" Jana asked.

I had been standing on the porch of Eva and John's home, Gideon and I came for dinner regularly. I didn't often get the chance to admire the moon, Gideon was quite the distraction.

"Habit, I suppose." I replied sincerely.

It wasn't a full moon tonight but nevertheless she remained beautiful and bright.

"You're not really alone,Maya." she mused.

"I agree, I have Gideon." I had not realized the gravity of my statement but I was embarrassed to say the least at my admittance to being attached to him.

"That's correct." she said looking into my eyes. She looked away towards the moon I had just been praying to.

"Jana, why do you trust me with your son?" I asked honestly, but it wasn't my real question.

"It's not my story to tell, Maya, truthfully, but I know tragedy when I see it. I do not know what horror came upon you ,my dear, but your eyes will always betray it. My son has sported that look for as long as I can remember but when he came back from the gathering with you, something was amiss. His eyes weren't the same to me. He had shifted. It was you."

I couldn't utter anything in response.

"We came to this pack seeking peace after-" her voice faltered.

"Mother." Gideon spoke. Jana jumped at his voice.

"Oh, there you are." her voice had returned to normal. "I'll leave you two then."

She retreated into the house, glancing between us.

I inhaled steadily, waiting for him to say something,anything to break the silence but it didn't come to pass. I intended to follow after Jana but he blocked my path.I looked up to meet his face, holding the same stiff expression I'd come to know, the same clouds hovering over that pale blue sky.

I felt his hands descend upon my arms slowly moving lower till they settled on my hips. We only did this when we were preparing for bed and needed to relax.

He seemed calm and comfortable whenever we came here. I didn't see the need for this but I let him anyway.

I placed my hands on his chest and he bent his head down, his moist lips settling on my forehead. I closed my eyes at the contact.

"I agree, you have me." he whispered as his lips hovered at the spot they had just been laying upon. But did I deserve you?

"Gideon!" Eric called out. It was my turn to jump, I had never been particularly skittish but I couldn't help it then.

Gideon watched me for a bit before leading me back into the house.

"Oh, there you are..." Eric trailed off as his gaze settled on Gideon's hand clasped upon my own. It wasn't like I hadn't felt his hand before but that was when we were alone.

"I would wash my hands if I were you, Maya. Gideon has been quite itchy these days." Brian said running from us quickly when Gideon stepped in his direction. I laughed at his comment knowing it wasn't true. Gideon's hands were either working or on me.

I laughed at their exchange. It was endearing.

"Men are animals when it comes to us. At least they make up for it in bed. Don't you agree, Maya?" Eva quipped from the kitchen.

I was startled by her assumption.

"We-" but Gideon stepped in.

"I try." he replied. He'd never gone any further than to comfort me. I was surprised by my quick acceptance of it, some would say I was foolish. I don't think I would have let him anywhere near me if I weren't so desperate for just that little ounce of acceptance,validation.

John and Eric doubled over in laughter while Eva only rolled her eyes. Brian was crying in disbelief while Jana covered her mouth hoping to stifle her own laughter.

"I'll go find, Olivia." I said before slipping my hand out of Gideon's grasp but not before he gave me a squeeze.

I found her in the spare bedroom, holding herself as she paced.

"Are you alright?" I asked. She seemed not to realize I was there because her response was delayed and came with a simple nod.

"What's keeping you?" I closed the door and offered her a seat on the bed beside me. She obliged biting her lip in the process.

"The first time Eric and I ever laid together I was scared out of my wits." This had become a common theme to our conversations. "But he was so gentle with me and I haven't looked back ever since but I want more from our time together." She looked up at me.

"You want a child." I supplied.

"Oh, how I do?" she exclaimed standing up to pace again. "We've talked about it on some occasions you know." I didn't know but I did now.

"And with Eva always on our case, yours included, by the way. No pressure though." she smiled quickly going back to furrowing her brow. "It's been on my mind ever since."

"What's holding you back, then?" I asked, though it should have been a question for myself but I never considered this to be applicable. I had stilled for a time, I had not progressed.

Gideon and I were a unit, I couldn't deny it. I couldn't deny anything anymore but that was what I always did, never gave myself enough. I held back allowing others to flourish because they deserved it. I lived my life a certain way because it had become a certain way.

But I wasn't alone anymore, I had a mate, a husband. He could only flourish if I did. It went both ways.

"Nothing, I guess. It's just the anticipation of it all." she mused. "Although when will you be ready?"

I gave her a small smile. I remembered Gideon's question but I wasn't too sure that either us knew what it really meant.

"You know it wouldn't be so bad, starting a family at the same time." she gushed coming back to sit by me.

"Well, we can't give in to Eva's wishes just yet or she'd be out of ammunition." She laughed agreeing with me. Eva lived to be a tease. "Besides the pack needs one of us without our hands tied." I said.

Dinner was the same full of joy and laughter. It was different and there was nothing wrong with it. There was nothing wrong with knowing that a dwindling fire and the celestial moon used to be your sole companions at night and now came a table instead of a boarded floor, noise instead of silence, love instead of despair and finally the intense gaze of pale blue eyes.

THIS IS AN UNEDITED DRAFT.THANK YOU FOR READING.