Baby Daddy's Babysitter

You See Breasts, You Think Mommy?

"I'm just saying, for a woman who just had a baby, she moves remarkably fast." Ben remarked as he paced back and forth while Danny dug through the diaper bag and Brooke played with the baby, Tucker just watching her. "How could she just leave her here?"

"Ben, you gotta calm down, okay?" Tucker told him. "I'm sure she's not even your baby." Ben looked to his three friends desperately. "Not so much, no." Tucker shook his head.
"And I've only been in town an hour. I mean, I'm fast, but... I'm not that fast." Danny told him, eyeing the baby.
"And don't think for a second I'd leave a baby that looks as much like you as she does on you doorstep." Brooke remarked. Ben shook his head.
"This is not my baby." Then Danny stood up.
"Wait, wait, wait! Guys, we got a note. Her name's Emma." Ben threw up his hands.
"I don't know any Emmas." Danny gave him a look.
"The baby's name is Emma." Then he crouched down, smiling at his niece. "Hi, Emma." Emma cooed, and Danny stood up straight, grinning at Ben. "Hey, Ben. Did I ever tell you about that hot waitress I went out with named Emma?"
"Danny, focus!" Ben exclaimed. "The mother."
"Oh, yeah." Danny looked back down at the paper.
"Who's the mother?" Ben asked.
"Sorry, um, Angela." Ben, Rucker, and Brooke's eyes all went wide.
"Angela!"
"Of course." Tucker groaned.
"That's right." Ben said.
"Why wouldn't it be that slut?" Brooke grumbled.
"Who is Angela?" Danny asked.
"She was nice. Actress." Ben told him, earning looks from both Brooke and Tucker.
"That girl was crazy." Tucker remarked.
"Insane!" Brooke exclaimed. Ben shook his head, then turned back to Danny.
"Does it say anything else?" Danny looked at the note again.
"Uh, she's sorry. She didn't know what else to do. And she just needs a little time." Ben's eyes went wide.
"Time? How much time?!" He exclaimed, just as a knock came at the door again. "And that would be the perfect amount of time." He ran to the door.
"Oh. That's Riley. I gave her a call while you were outside." Danby told him, grinning. Ben gave him another look.
"Riley? Fatpants Perrin? What's she doing here?"
"You have a friend named Fatpants?" Tucker asked, then looked at Danny. "Oh, I'm definitely marking my food." Then he headed for the kitchen.
"No." Danny told Ben sternly. "Riley's in law school now. It took her a while. I guess the LSAT's kind of tricky, but trust me, she will know what to do."
"Yeah, because Fatpants always knew what to do. Like, when she failed her math quiz one time and shoved Ben in a locker." Brooke snickered as Ben opened the door to reveal a very thin Riley!
"Ri-Gantor?" He greeted questioningly, unsure if this was actually his old bully.
"Ben-wetter!" She teased in a deep voice, a smile on her faced.
"Look at you. You look amazing. How did that happen?" Ben asked cluelessly.
"I may have lost a pound or two." Riley told him, flicking a piece of hair out of her face.
"Hundred. You sat on my head and gave me a concussion, remember?" Ben told her, and she made a face that said she might punch him as Ben gestured to Tucker. "Tuck, Riley. Riley, Tucker." Riley gave a wave.
"Hi."
"Riley grew up across the street from Ben and Danny and used to kick the crap out of Ben every day of his life." Brooke explained.
"Oh, and congrats on the law school thing." Ben told the blonde woman.
"Thanks."
"Don't worry. I know a bunch of people that had a hard time getting in." Riley's smile disappeared completely, and she stomped over to Danny and grabbed him by the ear.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow!" He cried out, Brooke inching towards the kitchen.
"Why did you tell him that?" Danny shook his head.
"It wasn't me!" Riley looked to Brooke, who looked nervous.
"Brooke!" Brooke screamed and ran away from her.
"I thought he wasn't listening! You had just texted me and I thought he would be interested!" Riley chased Brooke all around the apartment, before Brooke locked herself in the bathroom. That was when the baby began to cry, and Tucker threw up his hands in surrender.
"I didn't do anything." Riley immediately forgot Brooke and went to Emma.
"Oh. Hey. Hey, it's okay, princess."
"Aren't you gonna pick her up?" Ben asked, looking nervous. Riley gave the three boys a look.
"Me? What, you guys see breasts and instantly think mommy? Why didn't Brooke do anything?"
"I don't know how she was growing up, but Brooke's pretty much a dude with a vagina and boobs now." Tucker explained. "We only have beer because she's stocked." Riley chuckled. 
"Okay, fine. Hi. Okay. Come here, angel. Oh." She chuckled again as the baby stopped fussing and looked up at her. "Hi. Believe me, I know how scary it is to wake up in a strange place." Then she noticed that the boys and Brooke, who'd come out of the bathroom, had all raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm just making conversation. Are you hungry? I bet you're hungry, huh? Let's see what you got." Riley dug through the diaper bag, but only found bottles and no formula. "Is this all you brought with you? Oh, well, that's okay. We'll just send one of these boys out for provisions and-" she sniffed Emma's diaper and grimaced "Oh... I think somebody needs her diaper changed."
"I'll go to the store." Ben offered, already halfway out the door.
"Yeah, I'm going, too." Tucker was right at his heels.
"Bye!" Brooke shut the door behind her.

(Also, has been edited)