Small steps

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Your POV

I sat at the edge of the bed and cried. I missed my old life. I missed my auntie Jean so much. I heard the door slam open and I jumped to a standing position quickly. Jeff stood at the doorway and looked around a bit as if on guard. He suddenly cleared his throat and stood up straighter. "Why are you crying?" He asked in a monotone voice. He didn't sound to concerned. I crossed my arms at him. "Stop crying..." He particularly demanded. I sniffed once and starred at him before bawling my eyes out even more. Jeff was so mean, more than usual. He didn't even have the decency to treat me like a human. You can't just tell someone to stop crying. I sat back down at the edge of the bed and cried into my hands. I heard him slowly approach me. "Don't cry..." Jeff said a bit more concerned. I felt him pat the top of my head. I continued. "I guess...tell me why you're crying." He stated like a question. I could tell he wasn't very good at comforting people, considering the patting turned into awkwardly petting my hair, from the top of my head all the way to the top of my ear. I wiped some of my tears away. "I-I didn't a-ask to come here." I sniffed into between words. By now I was choking on my own words because I was crying so hard. Jeff was quiet but changed from patting my head and petting me. "Jeff?" I cried. "What?" He asked almost surprised. "Can you...c-can you please stop petting me?" I asked. He ceased his awkward consoling and nervously chuckled. "Sorry...I'm so bad at this...." He trailed off almost in a regrettable way. "I'll just leave you be." He said. I felt this pull inside me that wanted him to stay. I quickly stood before he could turn away. I starred into his eyes as tears began to fill mine. I sniffled and wiped some of the tears with the back of my hand. He stayed looking at me curiously. He looked at me concerned and a little bit worried. He looked at me as if he's never seen someone cry before, like he didn't understand why my eyes were leaking. I sighed and walked towards him and plopped my forehead on his shoulder. I gripped his hoodie in my hands, not caring if blood was beginning to rub off into my palm. I cried into him and he just stood there. He's hands were paralyzed by his side and his feet were frozen in place. I felt his breathing stop suddenly as if he was holding it in. It was quite a while before he slowly released it again letting his chest fall slightly as he pushed the air out. He didn't seem to mind me. Right now...I didn't seem to mind myself either. As crazy as it seems, right now I needed Jeff, he was the only thing I had left of my child hood. I still hated him...just..a little less I guess. He had yet to show me he isn't a blood thirsty lunatic...he has yet to make up for killing my family.

Jeff finally moved and lightly placed his hand on the back off my head and kept me to himself. He wrapped his other arm around my shoulders and leaned his head against mine. "Look...I don't understand why you're crying but-" I cut him off. "Just be quiet for a moment..." I mumbled against his shoulder. He released a breath like he was giving in to my request. A few minutes past and Jeff did exactly what I asked. He was quiet and for the first time...he was gentle. He resorted in stroking my hair again and this time I didn't mind. I stood there and excepted his efforts. "He's kind of cute..." I think to myself. I mentally gasp. "What? Him? No! Not him! He's not cute...the things he does are cute...right? That makes sense?" I panicked to myself. I pled away from him and wiped my tears. "Do you want to tell me now?" He asked looking down at me. I look down at the wood floor. "I just want my old life back..." I trail off. He opened his mouth to say something but I interrupted him. "My old life...the one were you still lived two house down from me...my mother would water her roses and my sister would be at cheer practice leaving us to roam my house and make adventures...the life were everything made sense and nothing hurt." I frown. He was quiet and I saw him shift a bit. I looked up to let his gaze. He had an expression I couldn't read. He was thinking about something. "You know...." He spoke gently. He brought his hand up a touched my cheek. "It can still be like that...I mean here I am and there you are." He pointed out. I suddenly realized I was holding the forearm of his sleeve in my hand with a death grip. He smiled a bit because of that. "Just like wen we were kids..." He said with a sad smile. Whenever I would cry when I was younger I used to cling to Jeff. I guess that's why I felt the urge to do so now. I would twist a piece of his clothing in my fist. Mainly his shirt of jacket and hold him there. He's told me countless times before that he wasn't going anywhere and that I didn't need to grip him. I didn't listen and yet Jeff never minded when I held on to him. He would always wipe my tears and awkwardly try to get me to stop.

I looked down at his sleeve in my hand. Jeff lightly chuckled amused and I felt his thumb run against my cheek to wipe away a tear. "I'm not going anywhere...you don't have to hold my sleeve." He stated almost sweetly. That was a first since I got here. Once again though...he never failed to remind me of how I didn't have to do the things I do, but instead I gripped his sleeve tighter as he chuckled and pulled me back into his shoulder. "What? Why are you laughing at me." I pout. He chuckles again and strokes the back of my head some more. "No reason." He says. I roll my eyes and push away from him. "You're so weird." I tell him like I always do when I know he has an explanation but doesn't want to tell me. "I know." He smiled and pulled me back into him. "I'm fine now, you don't have to-" he cut me off. "Shut up...I'm making us friends now." He stated like there wasn't a second choice. "Jeff-" I was cut off again. "Shut up, I'm making us friends." He repeated very determined. I didn't respond to him but I couldn't help but think. "How the hell is this going to work?"

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