Forget Me Not

This Remorse

Jeff's POV

The night breeze sliced at my face, it was going to be winter soon. I stood on the porch and starred off into the darkened forest. My body was numb for too reasons, cold weather and regret. My heart ached and my head throbbed, I could feel my knuckles still bleeding but I didn't care.

"Hey man..." I heard a voice from behind me. I didn't bother to turn and look. EJ came up on the side of me and leaned against the railing facing me. "How are you holding up?" He asked. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye for a split second before looking back at the dark forest. "How do you think I'm holding up." I growled. "She's still sleeping...just thought you should know." He said turning around to face the forest too. I knew she had fallen into a coma...it had to be likely in order for the transformation to take place. The only problem is for how long was she going to be in a coma.

"Do you know for how long?...." I mumbled. "Don't know." He shrugged. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye again and looked at his hood before looking down at my converse. They were covered in dried blood and mud. "Look...I know what you're going through but-" I cut him off. "You don't know what the fuck I'm going through." I said gripping his shoulder and turning him around. "Don't you dare try to stand here and tell me that everything is going to be okay because what if this time it isn't!? What if I messed up for good this time?! I lost her for 5 years and now I'm gonna lose her for the rest of my life!" I shouted as I gripped his jacket in my fists and violently shook him. He gripped my wrists and tried to keep me from shaking him like a rag doll. "Jeff let me go." He warned. I ignored him. "You don't know how it feels to love someone, only watch them hate you!" I shouted before I felt a fist collied with my face. I tumbled to the floor from lack of energy to keep myself steady. I looked up at EJ straightening his hoodie and I chuckled darkly. My face now throbbed from the pain and I liked it. I slowly climbed to my feet. "I told you to let go Jeff, I don't like when you take your anger out on me." He said watching me on guard as I stood. I walked over to him and he readied his fist. I smiled. "Be a pal and just kill me." I stated. EJ cocked his rad to the side. "W-what?" He said lowered his fists out of confusion. "Here." I said pulling out my knife and tossing it to him. He caught it out of instinct and looked down at it before looking up at me. "Please...just kill me." I felt a lump in my throat now and I tried hard to swallow it. "What? No are you crazy?" EJ asked like I really was. "You don't understand." I said walking fast to him and wrapping my fist around his hoodie again. "You don't understand." I clinched my jaw and my lip trembled. "Please...just kill me." I whispered as my eyes reared up again. "Dude stop pull yourself together, I'm not gonna kill you." EJ spoke seriously as he threw the knife down. I leaned my forehead on his shoulder as my knees buckled. I fell to my knees and rested my hands on the wooden floor. By now I was crying again and I hated myself for it. "Please!" I shouted. "...please..." I begged again in a whisper. EJ knelt down next to me a gripped my arm getting ready to pull me up. I yanked my arm away from him. "FUCKING KILL ME!!" I shouted so loud I heard smile barking from somewhere in the forest and my voice echoes once again. I cried out of anger and beat my fists against the wooden planks of the floor. "Jeff stop, I've never seen you like this." EJ sounded concerned. "I want to die, just let me die." I repeated over and over again. I cried and I begged. I have never wanted to die so badly before. This guilt, regret and saddens is eating me from the inside out and it hurts so bad. It hurts so fucking bad.

"Jeff breath, stop and breath for a minute, do you know how crazy you sound right? You're just under a lot of stress, I think you should go see Y/n maybe that'll help." EJ stated. I thought of Y/n...well truth was I never stopped thinking about her but I pretended she was telling me what EJ was telling me. I pretended to here her voice in place of EJ's telling me to breath and calm down, just like when we were kids. I immediately stopped bawling as if it never happened and stood up almost emotionless like a zombie. "...Jeff?" EJ called cautiously. "Are you-" I cut him off. "I'm going to see Y/n." I said and I could tell I was creeping him out. "D-do you want me to c-come with you?" He asked nervous trying not to set me off. "No." I stated bluntly before turning away from him and walking towards the door.

In the house I walked by the dinning room only to see Masky and Hoodie playing some card game while sitting on the floor. They were playing over one of the broken chairs, using the seat of the chair to hold their cards. They seemed to have fixed the other chairs I broke. I walked passed the living room to see Ben sitting in the middle of the flipped over couch. He put the lamp back on the table though and didn't bother turning to look away from the Tv as I passed by. I made my way up the stairs and guessed she'd be in EJ's room but when I walked in there his bed was still neatly made. I walked out confused and shuffled to my room. When I pushed open the door I saw Sally sitting on the edge of the bed braiding one of her dolls hair. Her dumb bear Charlie was laying next to Y/n, in the place where I would be laying. She turned to look at me and softly smiled before turning to down at her doll again. I took a deep breath before releasing a sigh. I closed my door again and leaned against it. I looked at Y/n. The blood was cleaned off her face and although I didn't stab her in the face she still looked the face. I glad she didn't look in pain. I slowly walked around the bed and to her side. Sally watched me suspiciously and I didn't blame her. I knew she was mad at me but in some level she understand why I didn't...just like the others. I could tell they were upset with me due to the fact they each grew their special little bonds with her or whatever. Helen stopped talking me and Liu just looks away from me. Ben kind of just treats me like an object. I'm there to him but not really, he doesn't talk to me unless he has to and Toby just leaves any room I walk into partly because last time when I was throwing my tantrum I broken a chair on him. Maksy and Hoodie just talk amongst each other but I know it's about me because it's hushed whispers before they slightly turn to look at me. Come to think of it EJ is the only one that maybe be mad at me too but will treat me like a human.

I took Y/n's hand in mine and kissed the top of it as I knelt down next to her. "I'm so sorry." I said resting my forehead on her forearm. I held her hand tightly making sure it didn't hurt her though. I looked up at her sleeping face, resting my chin on her arm. "Jeff?" I heard the child like voice and I turned slightly to face Sally. "Why did you kill Y/n?....I thought you liked her..." She asked, giving me this sad look making me feel worse. Tears immediately threatened my eyes and I held them back as the lump in my throat appeared. "I love Y/n." I corrected. "That's more than like..." Sally stated. I nodded slowly in agreement. "Then...why did you kill her?" She asked again. "Because I love her." I answered simply as I looked back to Y/n. "I don't get it." She said genuinely sounded confused. I sighed. "There's still rule and it says that me and Y/n couldn't be together because she was human and I'm a Creepypasta." I explained and she said quiet waiting for me to talk more. "I had to kill her if I want to be with her, killing her would make her one of us. If I didn't kill her I would've had to break up with her and she would have had to leave the mansion." I said still looking at Y/n as I explained to Sally. She gasped quietly. "I don't want Y/n to leave." She whimpered. "I know kid...neither do I." I said leaning my head on the same pillow she was laying on. I continued to stare at her. "I'm not mad at you Jeff...now Y/n can stay with us forever." I heard Sally and her tone was a little bit more happier. I slightly smiled before it fell back into a frown. "Hopefully she remembers me...." I thought to myself.