Just a Maid

Chapter 36

I was laying in bed, thinking about my talk with Ms. Rose yesterday. Actually, I was trying not to think about Donovan and I, and what had happened. We hadn't seen each other since that day, and I took it as a sign that things were meant to end like this. I thought this was God's way of telling me to move on.

So, to move on I had decided to focus on what Ms. Rose had told me yesterday. She had told me to change me life, to make it better. To do that, I should go to university.

At first I obviously thought the idea was ludicrous, but as I thought about it, it made sense. I hated my job, I hated everything about it and there was nothing left for me here. Moving on from this job was exactly what I needed at the moment, but there was one big problem. I didn't know what I wanted to be.

Unlike most people, I didn't have any talents. My average was ninety, yet I had gotten that mark for every subject. Subjects I hated and felt like were a waste of time. Math was too repetive and history was a bore. Business made me want to bang my head against the school desks repetitively, and English, well english wasn't so bad. I just hated how structured writing was. I prefered to write organically.

Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair tiredly. Everything was horrible right now. I had lost the only good thing about this job, and now I was left to wonder about a future I could of create if I had anything I was passionate about. Sadly, I just wasn't a passionate person and was instead a horrible empty person, who had nothing at the very moment.

Suddenly, I heard a knock on the door. Frowning, I got up and walked over to it. I hoped it was Lea since it had been forever since we had talked. She kind of had an idea that Donovan and I were over due to my sighs in the hallways we'd mop quietly together, but she didn't know the details of it. She also didn't know about my talk with Ms. Rose. I needed to fill her in with both.

Getting up, I quickly walked up to the door feeling nervous. For some reason my gut was twisting at the thought of talking to her. Probably because I would end up crying when I did tell her about Donovan. The whole situation between us still hurt. It hurt more than I would have ever expected it to.

Opening the door, my eyes widened. They widened so much that I thought my eyes would fall out of their sockets. There in front of me was the stunning heartbreaker; Donovan.

He looked solemn as he stared at me, not saying a word. My throat began to constrict as I stared back at his gorgeous face. His face that I was not allowed to kiss anymore. My heart dropped.

"Alanna, can we talk?" he asked.

"No," I squeaked out. "I don't want to."

My heart was accelerating, and not in the good way. I felt like I would throw up on him if he didn't leave.

"Please Alanna, just let me talk to you this one last time," Donovan pleaded. "If you still hate me after we talk I'll leave you alone from now on."

I stared at his green eyes that expressed his feelings of pain. My heart stung as I thought about it. In the end of the day it was better to give it a chance, rather than to regret the fact that you didn't.

I sighed. "Fine, come in."

I walked back to my bed and sat on it. Usually I would have stood up, but I didn't want to. I was actually so tired of everything that had happened between us. It had been tiresome.

Donovan stood in front of my bed as I got comfortable on my bed. He crossed his arms over his chest and I crossed my legs as I stared at him. His facial expression was solemn, so I wondered what he would say. If he was going to ask for us to be just friends, I would kick him out. I didn't want that.