buzzed +- bts

chapter twenty [p.2.] [confessions]

'Let's see how well you know your drugs. Ever heard of methylene-dioxyphene-thylamine?' Dragging his fingers across the sensitive skin of my waist, I shook my head slowly.

'I haven't.'

His eyes lingered on his hand that traced patterns onto my tanned skin. 'Ecstasy, it makes you feel really happy.'

'Why would they call you the name of a drug?'

Yoongi simply laughed at my question in a light joking manner. I frowned at his response, hoping that I hadn't asked of something that was too personal.

'Ecstasy isn't just referred to as the drug. It's also used to describe a type of high people feel. Normally, we relate it to...intercourse.' For a few moments, I couldn't recognize the brief dullness that had taken control of his facial expression; a complete 180 of his previous actions. Yet, I still hadn't known all the terminology spilling from his mouth.

Mindlessly, I spoke in a soft voice, hoping he would dismiss my ignorant thinking process. 'What is intercourse?'

'Do you want to find out, El?' Both of his hands abandoned their original spots before taking a new lead on each side of my body. I was slightly intimidated by the proximity between us as he hovered above myself using his arms.

'D-does it hurt?'

'You won't feel a thing.' Stooping down, he began to press his lips into the crook of my neck, trailing up slowly onto my jawline.

'Just relax, you're always so tense.' The vibrations from his small chuckle had heightened my senses, adding with the already warm environment. I began to feel jittery at his words, my fingers twitching but my mind seemed to be working just fine on its own. Just the simple touches or breaths passed onto my skin had rid of all feelings of uncertainty before.

Through my closed eyes, I could feel pressure on my lips as he kissed them softly. It was different this time, a more sensual and passionate aura surrounding him, opposed to the rough pecks I'd received in the past. Everything had slowed down with time.

I jerked back upon feeling the grip of his long fingers round the hem of my large shirt. 'N-not there...' Unconscious thoughts filtered in suddenly, scared of the fact that I'd be exposed to him in a provocative manner. My breathing became erratic, silently warning him not to go on any further.

Respecting my pleas, he merely stared into my eyes with a soft gaze, a smile appearing on the corner of his lips.

'Are you scared El?' The honesty of his question struck down any other suspicions I managed to conjure about him from the past. If he was going to ask me honest questions, I would provide him with honest answers.

'Yes...' I rolled my head to the side slightly to break the eye contact that had flustered me.

'Do you think I'm going to hurt you?' Pain managed to break through in his hoarse voice, his eyes glazed with a sudden look of despair.

'Can you trust me?'

There was no feeling of being pressured or forced into providing him with what he wanted. He was merely comforting me in the only way he knew, to make sure I was comfortable and that he had my complete consent to continue. And to be fair, I trusted him with nearly everything. Saving my life so many times in the past had added onto my debt and I had the chance to repay him. I realized that I was alright with it as well.

'Go on, just d-don't look at m-me.'

Yoongi's eyes widened to an impossible size. Silence had carried on through the air; an uncomfortable silence at that until he spoke once again.

'No, El, don't think, no please...' Pressing his forehead against mine, I had no other option but to stare into his intense eyes, a hint of grief passing through them.

'I haven't spent the past few months looking out for someone who isn't worth looking at. My time wasn't wasted, it was no mistake that you're here now. I want to see more of you, of this exterior that you've built up for yourself. I can understand why you're afraid, but I'm telling you that there's nothing to be scared of anymore.'

With our fingers intertwined, he bent over and whispered quietly in my ear. 'I'm here now.'

My heart swelled with relief at his reassurance and I felt braver in my decisions in words, something I wasn't used to doing.

'I trust you.'

As his hand had reached my backside, he froze in his actions.

'El, I need you to turn over.' I could feel the cool tips of his fingers brushing past the newly branded insignia located on my backside, just mere inches apart from the other tattoo.

I slowly spun around, my face pressing into the sheets slightly. Lifting up my shirt, he reached over and traced the printed pattern with his trembling digits. His weight shifted onto my back as he wrapped his arms around my torso and brought me up to the front of his chest.

'I'm so sorry El.'

-

wooo, was not expecting this to be so heavy

part three to be released soon...? after my homework destroys me

-elise