buzzed +- bts

[alternative ending]

what would have happened if it hadn't been a dream? with yoongi dead, and year passed, we all learn to forget and move on i suppose. el just happened to run down jungkook's alleyway.

alternative in the sense of: if she hadn't ended up with yoongi, what would things be like?

- -

'I'll give you a few minutes.' The large hospital room door swung close behind the man in the white coat.

No, I was done with crying over petty things that hadn't gone my way. There was no way that I would allow this news to come as shocking. With my luck, anything was bound to happen; nothing was from the reach of the impossible.

Neither of us spoke a word and left immediately once the doctor had gone returned with a few documents attached to a prescription slip.

The ride from the hospital to the home was deadly silent, allowing the thoughts to fully sink in. I couldn't decide if this was devastating enough to speak on. I'm sure he had the same mind set.

Instead of dressing out or cleaning up, I was drawn to the bed upon entering the comforts of the bedroom, crashing onto it while gripping the sheets tightly. It was true, everything we had speculated for the past few months surfaced once more.

He tossed the keys on the floor, climbing in next to me with his arms reached out. As he enveloped my cold form, I shuffled further into the mattress.

The gentle curve of his fingers brought out an involuntary reflex that I hadn't known was there. I screamed, a gut-wrenching, blood curling scream into the pillow.

I wept, sobbed, kicked at the sheets underneath me like a child. As if doing that would bring some sort of justice, but I was well aware that through my selfishness, there would be no justice.

Instead of telling me that I would be fine, or saying something insightful, he just lay there in silence. It frightened me, someone who had managed to give me sound advice and help me along the way was finally at a loss for words.

The high I felt during the short lived tantrum ebbed away finally, leaving me in shambles that I had expected since exiting the clinic. My voice had disappeared to virtually nothing, thinning out into the quiet hicks from my short intake of air.

'Everything will be alright.'

His hushed tone had been cracked slightly at the end, and I knew he was human. Capable to showing emotion through the hardest and toughest situations, but this was nothing compared to the life threatening places he'd visit. This was just a minor setback that could be overcome with time that still left a large scar over my aching heart.

'It's not fair,' I managed between breaths, allowing the soggy sheets to dry some of the other tears.

'I know. It isn't fair, but we've been saying that our entire lives. There are other women out there who have to manage through this and I know you're no different.' A light kiss was placed on my cheek, a brief peck that reassured whatever he had just said.

'What are we supposed to do?' I came to my senses, wiping away my self centered moping and trying to shift the conversation over to him. The hurt and pain was most likely burning twice as much in him. He needed comforting too, after all, he had proven to be human.

'We can always adopt.' He let out a large sigh, taking my hand into his and intertwining our fingers.

'It's going to help out a child in need as well. I'm sure they wouldn't want to live in an orphanage either...'

I knew somehow, that what he was going on about was completely true. The conditions of living in an orphanage was almost non-ethical, no different than living in a caged area with restrictions at every corner.

That child needed someone.

'The nearest adoption center is a few blocks down, I figured we could pay them a visit soon if you'd like.'

My mind was made at last. We were settled down finally with occupations that the both of us enjoyed immensely so bringing a child with us wouldn't be too far of a stretch. All I needed was confirmation that we would both be parent worthy.

'I'd like that.'

Looking up at him, he cracked a tiny smile, leaning back and staring at the ceiling.

'Have you thought of a name?'

He looked up thoughtfully, squinting his eyes in concentration. I was eager as to hear his ideas, but several moments of silence had passed by before he spoke again.

'If it's a boy, then I'd go with Sung-min. If it's a girl, maybe Chun-ja...?'

I thought for a moment, sniffing out the last of my pitying emotions while pushing down my doubts. He was focused on the here and now, and I realized that I should be on the same track.

'What about you?' Turning over, he raised an eyebrow.

'I don't know...' Honestly speaking, I had no idea of what I would name my child. That was something that would simply stick with them for the rest of their life. Picking wisely was a lot of pressure to put on a pair of people raising a child.

A name was forever; a concept that could only be changed when absolutely necessary or by law.

'Suk-ja...' I could only mumble out a name that had surfaced to mind suddenly, without my knowledge of even verbally speaking it.

'Suk-ja? It's unique I suppose...but it sounds as if it's from the 40's or maybe even the 50's.'

Shrugging, I continued to put prefixes and suffixes together to form the ideal name, but I was only drawing an endless supply of blanks.

'When the time is right, the perfect name may come to me.' Wrapping my arms around him, I pressed my head onto his chest, feeling the rise and fall of each breath. I was lulled to a calm peace that finally settled over my frayed nerves, closing my eyes to block out everything else.

His hand rested on the small of my back, drawing tiny shapes over the old tattoo that had settled on my skin permanently.

'We're just figuring things out like lost parents in a world of professionals, but I have a feeling we'll get a hang of it. Don't worry about anything El.'

'You'd better get used to being called 'daddy' from here on out.'

'I already am.'

I opened my mouth and quickly looked at him in horror, shocked at his explicit implications.

'Jungkook!'

Laughing, he brought me in closer, the trace of amusement never leaving his face.

'Don't worry sweets, I've got this.'

-

sorry, i'm just really sorry

it was kinda bad, oh god no

please have mercy

this ending was not expected

-el