Its A Deal!

Invisible Feelings.

When I first met Matthew Scott, he looked like any other guy our age. 6, pale with dark hair and a little scared.

The only thing that wasn't similar to anything I'd seen in other guys were his green eyes.

His eyes that held so much honesty, innocence and purity that I couldn't look away.

His first words to me were “ You look like you need this more than me” he then proceeded to give me, a complete stranger at that time his only bar of chocolate,because I was balling my eyes out after a guy called me ugly.
Before huddling back to the little corner he always sat alone at.

That day onwards we were inseparable.

Up until today I guess.
The day he refused to continue this friendship with me.

“Why are you doing this Matty? ” I ask an ache, I can't explain spreading through the middle of my chest. Burning me inside out.

When I had guessed this day was gonna suck. I hadn't really pictured “I'd rather die than go through this day” kind of suck.

“ Because I have to, Because Dave just left school without telling anyone, because the girl he has been in love with, will never love him back, because even after knowing this he refuses to stop loving her, because he'd rather leave everything and go, than stop and accept, that its never gonna happen, Because I don't want to become another Dave Marin, and Because I love you”

This was the third time Matty had said the sentence and it still felt so surreal.

My best friend was dumping me because he was in love with me.

Could my life get any more messed up.

“Please Matty, How is not talking to me gonna solve anything, I don't get it” I say on the verge of a breakdown in the middle of the crowded cafe we were in.

Matty shakes his head, a dark smirk on his face.
“That's the problem right there you never seem to see anything Summer, never!”

I could feel irritation creeping up along with desperation in my voice. He had just called me Summer...he never calls me summer.

“ What? What are you talking about?”

Matty shakes his head in what seems like disbelief.

I've never seen Matty like this. So distant and shrewd.
Dave was a good friend of his, so I get him getting mad but why was he turning this into a “us” thing?

“ Really Sam? You don't know what I'm talking about?really? ”
Matty's voice held so much of hate, pain and an emotion I couldn't name that I couldn't get myself to respond.

When I've been silent for a while he starts speaking again.
If people around us hadn't been so busy and loud they'd probably have started noticing Matty's slightly increasing voice and my desperate pleading.

“Okay, how about we start with the fact that you're still hung up on a guy who ruined you?”

I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach.
I couldn't believe what I had just heard, but if Matty had seen my reaction he didn't acknowledge it as he continued speaking.

“ Or how you can't see how much of an ass I've made of myself by being in love with you! Did you see that?, of course you didn't”

“Matty, please” I say in a voice barely above a whisper, as Matty continues his rant, his volume and words now catching everyone's attention.

“ Or maybe let's talk about how, you just cant see, how much it hurts me to stay just friends with you, because its convenient for you, but its killing me”