Its A Deal!

Keeping Score

Hello from the other side, I must've called a thousand times, to tell you  I'm sorry, for everything I've done but when I call you never seem to be home.
                                        -Adele

“ You are going to have to come out at some point you know that right?” I hear Emma yell from the other side of the cubicle.

I had probably been in here crying my eyes out for at least 40min now and the pain still refused to stop tearing my chest open.

When I first saw him standing right in front of me ... Just like that. After two whole years, as if nothing had changed.

I don't know how I managed to stay normal.
But thank god I did.

I would have lost every last bit of self respect for myself if I cried in front of him.

I can't give him that satisfaction. I just can't.

Noah Anderson was back.
I have no idea why.
But he was. And it couldn't have been at a worse time.

Just when I was finally trying to get on with my life,he comes sweeping back.

“ Sam,please just come out” Emma's voice is more pleading than anything else. And I myself was aware about the fact that I couldn't stay holed up here all day...no matter how much I wanted to.

I knew I should've been more prepared for this since I've imagined this scenario: facing him again.
A million times.

How I'd react, what I'd say.
If I would even say anything.

But none of it mattered because all I was aware about at that moment was the pain searing through my entire being the betrayal I felt deep in my bones,the anger that made me want to punch the guy in front of me...but mostly I felt the helplessness I always felt.

The helplessness of being able to do nothing about anything.

I take a deep breath before opening the door and getting out.

The bathroom is empty because classes are on. Emma had taken a pass to come here and must've even exceeded the time limit on it by now.

I on the other hand had not even made it to class.
There was definitely gonna be a detention slip with my name on it in the near future. But I couldn't bring myself to care right now.

I walk directly towards the sink,  to see the damage I had done to my face.

The girl staring back at me from the mirror was someone I suddenly felt deeply ashamed about.

Crying over a guy?
A guy who obviously didn't give a shit about you?

Wow

Her face was blotched and her eyes were red. Mascara was running all over her face along with dried tear stains.

She was a mess.
I was a mess.

I looked at Emma standing behind me in the mirror and looking at her reflection I spoke.