Addiction

Chapter 51.

Every second away from Hayden has been hard. I miss him and I regret ever leaving him. I thought I was doing what was best for the both of us, but now I'm not so sure if we're better apart. I only want him and being away from him made me realize that even more. I found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with but, like he said, I was too focused on one thing to notice everything else. He has been trying and he has done a lot for me. He has done so many things with me that he would never do with anyone else—that he has never done with anyone else—and he enjoys doing them with me. It had taken me a few phone calls with Reign to finally figure all of this out.

After telling her about everything that happened, she said to me, "Alice you are fucking stupid if you don't think he loves you. I met him once and I already knew that the two of you were in love with each other. The way he looks at you, the way he talks about you, that adorable cheesy grin on his face whenever you talk. Alice he's in love with you, but he doesn't know how to admit that to himself and to you."

I then responded, "I don't feel that from him though Reign."

"Because you're too stuck on hearing the words that you've blinded yourself from his actions babe."

She was right. I wanted to hear him say 'I love you' that I hadn't noticed his way of proving that he loved me. That should have been enough for me. The heart sculpture, the entire beautiful speech he gave me before I left, that was his way of saying it without exactly saying I love you. He called me his lifeline and I still left.

I wanted to call him but I don't know what he's doing, who he's with. He told me himself that once I left he would go out to the bar to find someone to replace me with. In order to stop myself from calling him, I promised Reign I would come visit her this weekend. I called Dr. James to inform him I would not be at work on Monday but I will be back on Tuesday.

He responded, "Miss Greene, of course I'm going to give you your time off, but I just have to ask, are you running away from your problems with Hayden so you're trying to avoid seeing him on Monday?" He told me that he noticed I like to leave my problems for a different time instead of addressing them that same day or the next day. He couldn't be more accurate.

"Yes," I responded being completely honest with him. "I ended things with him last Monday and it's already been hard. I'm afraid when I see him on Monday, I'm going to run right back to him and we will be in this ridiculously unhealthy cycle of breaking up and getting back together."

"This cycle has already been started, you have went back to him plenty of times and you leave every time. I can be the first to tell you that your relationship with Mr. Stymest is toxic, but in this instance it is a welcomed toxin because you two are what's best for each other."

My flight left Friday afternoon, and it was a long four hours. Reign was there to pick me up in her white Mercedes Benz SUV. "Oh my god, it's so good to see you again." She says hugging me tightly, I almost couldn't breathe.

"You, too." I respond once she let go. "I'm exhausted and hungry."

"We can go out to lunch after I get Channing." Reign informed me that he's 12 years older than her but they really like each other so the age gap is nothing to them. Reign and I seem to be attracted to older men. "Channing can't wait to meet you, though he would like to meet Hayden as well. If he mentions Hayden to you tell me so I can slap him."

"Why does he even know anything about Hayden?"

She smiles a broad guilty smile at me before looking back at the road. "I couldn't help but talk to him about you and Hayden, Alice. You always seemed to call just after we finished having sex and he was curious about who I was talking to, so I just spilled."