Keep On Walking (A Hunter Hayes Fanfiction, Book 3 of the Hardships Saga)

Chapter Twenty-Four

❝discover (pronounced dɪˈskʌvə or dih-skuhv-er), verb
to see, get knowledge of, learn of, find, or find out.❞

Ryan changed into her pyjamas, rolling into bed and sighing. She was feeling a lot less tired now that she had relaxed for the whole evening. She closed her eyes, but found she couldn't sleep. So instead, she thought about right now.

Her family was perfect. Elle was in remission, Robin was in perfect health, Phoenix had completely forgotten his old family, and Hunter radiated a happier glow than any of the rest of the family.

So why did she feel so down?

She felt weight on the other end of the bed, and felt arms wrap around her from behind. "Hey, are you cold? You're shivering."

"The air conditioner's on a little too high, that's all."

He reached for the remote and turned it down. "Is that better?"

"Yeah."

They were quiet, until Hunter said, "I'm not as tired as I thought I'd be."

"Mmm. Me neither."

He began to kiss her neck. Now that she was bald, her hair didn't tickle his nose, and it was a lot easier. "Why don't we take advantage of that, then?" he whispered. Ryan didn't say anything, but let out a quiet moan.

"H-Hunt..."

"That's it," he breathed, rolling her onto her back and kissing her. First he was gentle, then he became rougher and rougher. He kissed her hungrily and with vigour- God, he had missed doing that. He managed to elicit a real groan this time, and he pulled away to start undoing the buttons of her shirt one by one.

"Wait, w-wait," said Ryan breathily. "Stop."

He stopped immediately, rolling off her. "Did I hurt you? Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," she said quietly, sitting up. "It's... nothing. Let's just sleep, Hunt."

"What? But why?"

"I don't feel like it."

He sighed. "What are you lying about this time, hmm? What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

He cocked an eyebrow, and she reached up to her hair, but found herself unable to touch it. Oh yeah, you shaved it, she thought to herself. "It's... not really important..."

"It's important to you, so it's important to me."

She sighed. "Oh, alright. It's... I... I don't.... feel comfortable with my body anymore."

"What do you mean? You're beautiful."

She shook her head. "You haven't seen me completely naked for ages, Hunt. You don't understand."

"Then help me understand."

She hesitated, but unbuttoned her shirt slowly, and lay it down beside her. "See? It's... my body is so disfigured and... and ugly."

"You mean the stretch marks and the scar?" he asked, running his fingers lightly over both. They left a tingling sensation behind on her skin.

"Yes. And the fat, Hunter, how much weight I have that I just... and my arms and legs are still too skinny, I'm so out of proportion, and-"

Before he could let her finish, he leaned in and kissed her deeply. "I'm sorry, I had to make you stop talking."

"W-What?"

"My dove," he said gently. "I'm sorry, but that is the shallowest thing you've ever said to me."

She looked down, looking ashamed, but Hunter said, "No, that doesn't need to be a bad thing. But darling, do you really think that I'm going to be turned off by a few stretch marks, a little bit of a scar and some fat? You're more... cuddly. I like it. I'm covered in acne scars and freckles-"