Keep On Walking (A Hunter Hayes Fanfiction, Book 3 of the Hardships Saga)

Chapter Thirty-Six

❝confess (pronounced kənˈfɛs or kuh n-fes), verb
to acknowledge or avow (a crime, a misdeed, or a flaw).❞

It was hard to hide it from him.

He knew something was wrong. He didn't say anything, but he knew. She could tell he knew something was amiss. And it scared her worse than anything.

It was November now. The wintery days were coming back, and Phoenix was almost five. One day, Ryan got out of bed.

And realised her period was missing.

Her heart began to thump wildly. She didn't know what had happened that night, but she could hardly believe that she would have thought about a condom. What if this was Tulio's baby? Was she pregnant at all? Should she tell Hunter or keep it from him?

She went to the bathroom cupboard and shakily pulled out a pregnancy test. She did the test, anxiously waiting.

What if she was pregnant? How would she find out if it was Hunter's or Tulio's without doing some sort of DNA test? What if the baby looked like Tulio, how would she explain that?

Since the party, she had avoided Dahlia at all costs. Markus didn't matter to her anymore. But she kept finding notes in her pidgeonhole. Written notes from Tulio, asking her to come visit him. She always ripped them up and threw the pieces into different bins.

No one knew of what had happened except Dahlia and Tulio. Dahlia tried to talk to her about it, but she made sure to get away before she could approach her. She needed to talk to someone. She needed the one person she trusted wouldn't tell Hunter at all.

She checked the pregnancy test, and sighed in relief. It was negative. She wasn't pregnant.

But she still couldn't bring herself to try for a baby with Hunter. She didn't feel she was worthy. She felt... wrong.

She walked to the kitchen, where Hunter had made toast. "Good morning, my dove," he said.

"Morning."

He sighed. "What's wrong now?"

"Nothing. I didn't sleep last night."

"I know. I heard you rolling around." He served her buttered toast with strawberry jam. She preferred jam over jelly, since jam had fruit pieces in it. "Did you do a test?"

"Negative."

"Mel called earlier. Said she wants to catch up."

Mel, thought a voice in her head. That's perfect! "Mel? Okay. Are you gonna be home today?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Okay. I'm gonna get dressed and go to that cafe. See you later!" She jumped up and left the table, leaving her toast untouched.

Hunter stared after her. There was something about her that was different. It was scaring him. Ever since the party, she had been avoiding him, not talking to him. Was she faking being not pregnant, like when she had been when Robin was born? He didn't know. Nor was he sure he wanted to find out.

Ryan got dressed and left the house as quickly as she could, not even kissing Hunter's cheek goodbye. It was stupid, but she felt like if she did, he'd know immediately that she wasn't to be trusted. That she had done something awful.

The drive to the cafe was about as comfortable as the drive she had taken to the doctor's clinic the day she found out she was pregnant. Her heart was racing still, and so was her mind. She couldn't believe she had been stupid enough to drink so much.