Keep On Walking (A Hunter Hayes Fanfiction, Book 3 of the Hardships Saga)

Chapter Forty-Four

❝revenge (pronounced rɪˈvɛndʒ or ri-venj), verb
to want to get back at someone, or to exact punishment, on behalf of vindictive spirit.❞

Ryan stared at the pregnancy test in her hand. Why her? Why couldn't it be simpler? Why couldn't it just freaking work for once? Another negative test. They had been trying for at least three years now, what was the holdup? Why did it always turn out like this?

She felt unreasonably frustrated, storming out of the bathroom. Why was it that when they weren't trying for a baby, it was so easy for her to get pregnant, but now it was like asking a dog to do a cartwheel? It just wasn't working. It made her feel useless.

What if it was because of all the trauma her body had gone through last year? Dying and coming back to life, losing so much blood, what if that had somehow contributed to her fertility? Was that even possible?

She pulled off her pyjama shirt and rummaged through her closet for a new one. She felt warm arms creep around her waist from behind. "Hey," said Hunter, nibbling her ear. "Any luck?"

"Freaking negative again. Again. Honestly, it's just ridiculous at this point." She pulled on a dress as angrily as she could, and proceeded to walk back into the bathroom to put on her makeup.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm tired, and I feel like my head is pounding and-" She sighed, turning around and hugging him. "I'm just so frustrated with myself, Hunt."

"Don't blame yourself," he said. "It's not your fault."

"What else could it be?" she said, turning back towards the mirror. "It's not working. It just won't work."

"Relax, petal," he said soothingly. "If we need to, we'll go to a doctor and get some fertility pills. We'll keep checking your ovulation chart. Would that work?"

She sighed. "I guess. I don't like it when people help me to do something I should be able to achieve myself."

"I know you don't," he said patiently. "I didn't know you wanted another kid this badly."

"I didn't realise it at first, but I really do." She sighed. "I'm sorry. It's like... since my heart attack, everything's screwed up. My dyslexia's gotten worse, too."

"Really? I didn't know that was possible."

"I didn't either. Maybe it's brain damage from the bloodloss, I don't know. But it's definitely worse. It's like I need to learn how to read all over again. It's just so difficult, and exams are coming up, so I can't even slack off for a little while-"

"Relax" he said gently. "Take a deep breath."

She did so, sighing and putting her foundation down. "I'm so sick of all this."

"I know." He kissed her once, quickly. "Hey, how about we try reading together tonight? Just to go over it all again?"

"I guess so. Alright." She hugged him. "Thanks for putting up with me and my moods."

"Maybe you should take it a little easy for today," he said. "We'll try again soon, alright? It'll work. Pinky promise."

She nodded. "Alright. Can you get the kids some cereal or something?"

"Of course." He kissed her again. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

He left the bathroom, and she sighed, looking into the mirror again. The scar on her eyebrow was mostly faded now, but it still reminded her of all she had been through. She pulled her hair up into a bun and finished doing her eyeliner and lipstick. She walked to the kitchen, where the kids were all eating their breakfast. Elle had been subdued for long time since they had told her about her real family, and no longer called Hunter and Ryan 'Papa and Mama', but rather just 'Pa and Ma'. Hunter knew it would come eventually, but it was sad to watch her growing out of her childhood.