Torn To Pieces

TORN TO P I E C E S 19

A n i s a

I couldn't describe my thoughts when he uttered those words I've never dreamt of hearing . I just sat there , with my mouth opened wide(probably made him regret for choosing me , I might have looked like a fish with that expression). And at that precious moment , my family and my friends choose to burst into the room. That didn't help my situation at all. In fact it made it even more worse. Then my mom came and hugged me, telling she was sorry about everything. I let her to be like that as much as she wanted. Finally after about 10 minutes she was able to calm herself down. Then she went and stood near my dad. Now everyone was looking at me. Great , this is what I needed right now; being in the spot light in a awkward situation. I looked at my friends , pleading with my eyes to help me with this situation. but they shook their head with a expression that it should be my choice. I should face this alone. I stared at every person in the room. there were several expressions on them. My parents , with a tensed look. my friends, who had a hopeful yet uncertain look with them. My brother, who was glaring at imshad with a how- dare- you-tell - someting- like -that look. And finally imshad ,who was looking hopeful , yet anxious.

And I know what should my answer be. This whole time I've been selfish. I only thought about my self. My happiness. But now the time has arrived to push all my hurt away, pain and make the right choice.

'' NO''

6 pairs of eyes turned towards me. My parents lost their tensed expression. Rahma and Ilma looked absolutely thrilled. My brother smiled at me while Imshad looked like I just slapped him.

'' Let me explain why I rejected you Imshad...''. The room became silent.

'' At first , I told you that I've never fallen in love before. So the first day I saw you I felt something I've never felt before and It was a crush . But when Rahma and Ilma started to doubt you and told me that you might be a bad guy , I got angry. I wanted to defend you.
And that made me realize I was deeply fallen for you. I don't think I can explain that feeling and I don't want too. But I will have to say what I've got to say for all of you. This time, I don't want to hide my feelings. The second day I met you I was convinced that you were a good guy. And when we met for a date for the first time , I was sure that one day I will marry you. Everything was perfect. My dream was about become a reality infront of my eyes. I was waiting until you come to my parents and ask for my hand.

'' Then everything changed. The day when your mum called and asked me to come and meet her I was over the moon. But when your mum made me see you with jasmine , I realized that she didn't want me as her daughter- in- law. Well I don't blame her because who would want a girl like me with no beauty? and when I saw how you were comfortable with jasmine , I thought I made a mistake. a
And I started to doubt about our relationship.
Whats the use of having a relationship if your other half is not committed to it?''

'' And I know jasmine loves you , I read it through her expressions. Even though I'm still angry with her , I won't blame her. She came to your life before me. And I don't want another girl to suffer like me. Even though you said you choose me , I can see that you still love her from your eyes. So imshad , I believe you can be more happy with jasmine than with me. I can't do this anymore. I've hurt my family , my friends because of this. Most of all I've disobeyed Allah by having a relationship before marriage. So I think it's time to stop this. Forever. Good bye Imshad , may Allah bless you a with a happy life. And please forgive me for causing you so much pain, so much trouble...''.

That's it. I couldn't take it anymore. This was too much for me. The tears I was holding for so long came tumbling back . My mom and my friends hugged me while I kept on sobbing silently. My father and my brother stood with a somber expression. The whole room was silent except for my crying.

At last , Imshad broke the silent.
''I'm sorry Anisa for every single mistakes I've caused to ruin your life. You have a good heart. I believe you took the right choice and you deserve a better guy than me. A guy who could keep you happy, who will never let a single tear fall from your eyes. I hope some day you will find your happiness you truly deserve unlike me . Don't worry...I wont come back to your life ever again. Unless you want me to come. I....I'm sorry again umbrella girl''.

with those last heart piercing words he left the room. But I was able to read the pain in his face and to feel the unshed tearful eyes. Those words made me shed my last remaining tears for my first love , my lost hopes and dreams...

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assalamu aleikum everyone. i'm sorry but i had to make her do it. anyway this chap was a bit emotional. *sniff* hope you'll enjoyed. dont forget to leave a vote and a comment.