Try Living With a Boy band.

Chapter 42

I stared at him in the darkness of the coat room.

"You're actually gay? Like you are attracted to guys?"

He looked down and if it would have been light in here his cheeks would have been a bright red.

"I'm attracted to a guy, yes."

I smiled.

"So that's why you never responded to all of my sexual advances!" The tension broke and he laughed. It felt good knowing that he could be honest with me.

"Spence I love you" he laughed and I grabbed him and hugged him hard. At least I still had one of my best friends to rely on.

"You want to break out of here and go to a fancy restaurant and order everything on the menu?"

I nodded, wiping the dry tears from my eyes.

"I would love that."

He smiled, and everything felt alright for a second.

---

I woke up the next morning feeling hungover and gross, even though I had nothing to drink. I was sleeping in a big tee shirt with all my makeup on from last night smeared into a huge mess on my face. My hair was straw like from the amount of hairspray. I sat up and stretched.

The light was pouring into my hotel room window and casting a shadow on my bare thighs. There was an ache in my heart from last night that I tried my hardest to ignore.

One thing that I had remembered from my days of binge drinking and rehab was that I can't focus on the bad things in life.

I tried to list off a couple of good things.

I am healthy
I have some great friends
I am living a dream
I'm sober
I have bomb hair

I stood up and looked out the window. The day was absolutely beautiful. I eyed up the sneakers sitting on top of my opened luggage. Today would be perfect for a run.

I looked at my phone to check the time. Meeting at 12. Lunch at 1:30. Rehearsal at 3:00. I had plenty of time to get my mind off of things.

I put on a pair of leggings and a sports bra and grabbed my headphones. Running would be a perfect way for me to feel better.

Scrolling past the playlist Alex made me I picked an upbeat pop song. As soon as my feet hit the sidewalk I felt free.

Or at least as free as a girl could feel who just got her heart shattered into a million pieces.

The early morning sun was beating down on my bare shoulders making them warm to the touch. My body felt great, but my heart was dying. I tried to keep up with the beat of the music , matching my steps to the tempo. I ran along the sidewalk past a very pretty fountain and followed the cement trail to behind the hotel. A line of trees blocked my vision but once they cleared I had to stop and catch my breath.

Not because I was tired of running (even though I was) but because of the huge lake that I was standing in front of. It stretched about a mile across with faint trees lining the horizon. The sun was reflecting across the top making it look like it was a literal path to heaven. Even with everything falling apart in my life while I stood here and saw the gorgeous lake that I didn't even know was there I felt okay. I felt whole.

The sidewalk continued around the perimeter of the lake and so did I.

--

My legs collapsed and I fell onto the lobby couch. I was sweating profusely making it look like I had just stepped out of the shower. I kept my eyes closed until I felt someone standing over me.

"Spencerrrr"

I opened one eye halfway to see mark standing over me, holding a bottle of cold water and a raisin bagel. I took both and closed my eyes again. "God bless you, sweet angel" He sat down beside me.

"You look gross"

"Hey thanks, so do you." He laughed but I could tell something was wrong.

"Vanessa said she wanted to talk to you. I have no idea what for but she seemed pretty angry."

I finally opened my eyes. "Why would she be angry?"

"I have no idea Spence, honestly."

I groaned.

He chuckled at me.

"She's waiting in the meeting room. She just said she wanted to talk to you alone before everyone else showed up."

I slowly stood up but I could feel my own legs trying to betray me and sit back down again. I know one thing for sure, I'm going to be sore tomorrow.

Oh, and I know another thing.

I'm never running again in my life.