Walking In The Shadows

Chapter 15

Arwiyah

Confusion.

Pain.

Anger.

Why do I feel this way?

Silence, there were no answers. With every unanswered question in my mind, another was born. All I heard was screaming but pinpointing the location of each individual was a fail. There was one cry in particular that caught my attention and beckoned me to find it, it would seem as if I were addicted. The Beauty tamed the Beast. It was a heavenly sound, almost similar to that of a banshee lulling death. Although, the source was heavily guarded by that of others. While there were screams of anger, sorrow, glee, and fear; this scream was one of curiosity. The sound was pulling at my core, driving my every move, calling.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

The pounding of my heart increased to the point where I felt as though my chest was about to burst open. Not only did it work harder, but it also made it harder for me to breathe. Every motion that was made from inhaling and exhaling was felt. The expansion of my lungs pressed against my ribs hurt. Even the pumping of blood into my system did not go unnoticed. As more was generated, the more my body seemed to boil. I saw the blood from the bite that Kimber just gave me drip to the ground, slowly starting to sizzle.

Don't let them see you. They'll know you're hiding something.

Immediately, I shifted my gaze away from everyone. There were people everywhere, but as usual no one noticed. I could no longer hear nor see. All I could focus on was the simple task that I had to repeat over in my head or else I would forget my purpose. Walk, drive my body away from the surrounding figures to prevent them from learning the truth. Run, do not let people near the danger.

Hide.

I steered my feet as fast as I could to an unknown path. A path where no one would find me. Longing to prevent an outburst and not to be branded. If I didn't hurry, a few bullies will mean nothing to the outcast I was sure to be. No one in the world was left to know the real me, and that is the way I would prefer. One after the other, I forced my feet to succumb to my annoying demands.

"Who's screaming? What's happening?"

Don't worry about it and hide.

I decided that I needed to do as I was told, but it was easier said. With every cry and shout, I longed to turn around. I longed to help. Desperation to release the truth was filling every fiber of my being, but I refrained. When I tripped over a rock that I was blind to, the voice nagged more. Focus!

Comfort.

Peace.

Welcomed.

That is how I felt at the sound alone of the voice throwing out commands, but that was years ago. Here recently, the tone has become dangerous and more demanding. It has become one of cruelty and disappointment. Less friendly and for the first time, I felt lonely. The sound alone made me miss the way Kerala sounded. It showed me how lonely and evil the world truly was. Not even my only companion cherished my existence.

I came across a sheltered cave that was hidden by a thicket of thorns. With little to no effort, I walked through the prodding points. With every protruding edge, I felt even more numb to the world. This place called Earth blackened to the point of nothing the deeper I ventured. As I journeyed to its dark embrace, I found that my hearing increased and my sight vanished. Along the wall. I felt every intricate rigid.

Good child.

I beamed with delight. Yet, the sound was forced and a sense of fear washed over me.

"No one sees." My voice barely alive. I looked around to see that my world had dissipated and was filled with emptiness. There were no figures to be named. Not even colors to add life and meaning. I was drowning with the mere thought of the world being dead, suffocating with the thought of learning that I would always be alone.

"No one hears." The echoes of the sound particles vibrated and made a low hum. The loud noise slowly shrinking until it too was barely acknowledged. Pounding my hands against the ground and the cave walls, I begged for sound, but everything was muffled to my ears.

We are a secret that cannot be exposed.

I knew the voice was right. It had always been right. "Why am I not listening? I always listen." Questioning myself only increased my worried state. Growing up as a child, there was never a thing called 'friends' to confide in and enjoy the pleasures of life. There was not a thing called safety, where you could smile and live in happiness and peace.

All that existed was the voice and I.

All that existed was hatred and discrimination.

All that existed was a dark and evil world.

After experiencing the way that people lusted for power and how many were attacking me to reach such a high throne, I escaped. Reality became a nightmare that I was forced to live through daily. My dreams became my sanctuary where I was not alone. I became strong. I began to forget everyone and everything. That was the motto to live by and what my decisions were based on.

Though that side of me was changing. I was sinking to a life of fear and pain. A life where people dictated my move and controlled what I went through. Thinking back to when I was held prisoner and beaten made my mind fill with unease and my body weaken. 

"I have Casey and Kyle."

No, you don't. They want you for your strength too. Why else would they train you? Kyle didn't even protect you from Kimber when she attacked.

The voice was right. It was always right. Yet, I still clung to hope.

"Deamon."

No, he didn't help you when Parker attacked.

Again, right. The hope was slightly fading, but I didn't want to give up yet. I had others I could still trust.

"Lucien."

No. He is like the others. To him, you are a monster.

He did retaliate that to Luka after I had attempted to kill Deamon.

"Luka?"

Don't you understand, no! You are alone. There is no one that cares for you.

My hope, the little sliver that I had left, was gone. It dried up. My mind was empty. There was no one to help me. No one was there to save me.

"Why?" I could hear the crack in my own voice. The feeling of emptiness coating my words, making me feel useless and pathetic. "I'm a monster." The one accusation that was always thrown at me, the one I always denied, it was true. No matter how gentle, I was twice as cruel. No matter how weak, I was twice as strong. No matter how much I resisted, I only wanted to accept myself twice as hard. I tried to swallow and speak my objections, but there was no hope left to argue. There were no words. At first, I was frantic and clawing at my throat. Soon, I quit and allowed the stained feeling to take over my body.

Now is the time to become the princess you were created to be.

"Princess?" I croaked.

Princess of Darkness, the one constructed to Walk in the Shadows.

AN:

Beauty tamed the Beast.. Ariyah referred to the scream as Beauty and to herself as the Beast.

#Edited