The Affectionate Player - Part2

Chapter 8

                  

                  

Staring at the half filled cocktail glasses, my mind continues to wonder. Gracie's been gone at least 10 minutes and I've thought of nothing and no one but her since she slipped off to the ladies. Today has been more than I could ever have hoped for and I know now without doubt she still needs me, though I wish I had the same confidence about her love.

All day I've been struggling to remember if she's actually told me that she doesn't love me. Yes, we've had arguments and her angry words, but I think I'd have remembered that revelation. In hindsight, today has felt like a breakthrough. She's been open and honest about her parents, and shared with me her feelings about Ireland. To say I was shocked about that would be an understatement, though without question I'm going with her.

"More drinks, Sir, before the band begins again?" Stirring me from contemplation, I glance upward shaking my head and within moments the soft notes of a song I recognise commences, drawing my attention to the stage. They play a short intro and just as I begin to look for the performer, the sweetest voice I've ever heard stirs my soul. Closing my eyes to the world around me I lose myself in Gracie's sultry tones.

"I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places that this heart of mine embraces, all day and through...

In that small cafe, The Park across the way, the children's carousel, the chestnut trees, the wishing well......

I'll be seeing you, in every lovely summer's day, in everything that's light and gay, I'll always think of you that way...

I'll find you in the morning sun, and when the night is new, I'll be looking at the moon, but I'll be seeing you...."

Fear and longing engulf me as the desire to open my eyes ensues and I dare myself to do just that, with Gracie being my reward if I do. It's hard enough to hear her but to see her singing, all vulnerable and wanton, I think would break me.

With my eyes still closed, I turn from the stage beckoning the waitress. This is how my girl communicates without anger. This is how she portrays her deepest feelings. I know now how to reach her. I have to see and hear Gracie sing a song for me, a song to herself from me, because in light of the fact that I've screwed up our chances of talking about us, right now it's the only hope I have of learning how she truly feels.

She finishes her ballad to rapturous applause, taking a subtle bow of acceptance. And as I observe her response to the crowd, I can barely contain my tensions. The waitress hands my note to the compere while I watch him invite Gracie to sing again. Shaking her head in an obvious 'no', my heart stops for an instant at the prospect of her refusal but as I make to stand, she is handed the piece of paper containing my scribble. With bated breath and an erratic heartbeat I watch her read it, then slowly she turns her head to face me.

The band warms up with a few tuneful notes but Gracie's eyes remain fixed on mine. Maybe this was a crap idea. She may walk out on me for pushing her.

The lights dim once more blanking out the band and all that remains in the spotlight is the woman I love dressed in black satin, still holding my gaze in some kind of deep hypnosis. Silence falls as the first sweet notes are played, my breath catching in my throat with anticipation. With a few finger taps on her hip, she counts in and begins to sing my song to her audience, and to herself.

"Tonight you're mine completely, you give your love so sweetly. Tonight the light of love is in your eyes, Will you still love me tomorrow?

Is this a lasting treasure, or just a moment's pleasure? Can I believe the magic of your sighs? Will you still love me tomorrow?