Mirrors | Malum

17

Calum

I was waiting for my sister for over two and a half hours. She was running late from her meeting and I was stuck sitting here and watching hundreds of strangers pass by in a hurry. There were only a few that would linger around and make quick chatter with others, but nobody would ever draw their attention towards me. I'm always the weird outcast that people tend to ignore; the one that people will glance at for a second, grimace and then walk away as if I wasn't the ugliest thing they've seen in a while.

It makes me feel bad, because I didn't know I was that disgustingly terrible. I've always just been one to keep to myself, and I rarely ever show my face because I usually have something to keep myself occupied. But my journal has gone missing as of yesterday and none of my family members have seen it, which is quite irritating. It has all of my personal artwork in it and I don't want anybody else to see it.

I've only ever showed my art to Michael, because he seems to be the least judgemental person in my life. He's not like the others; he didn't give up on me the minute he laid eyes on me. Most people would just walk away and pretend that I never existed because acknowledging my presence is never important to anybody. I've always felt left out of the picture frame, because I knew that I never actually fit in. But Michael makes me feel like I have a place somewhere in this world and that I'm not just another flower in the garden or another gravestone in the cemetery. He makes me feel like I'm on top of the world, standing one of the highest buildings as I look down at the beautiful city around me; noticing that the lights are laminating against my skin, seeing cars rushing by because everyone seems to be in a hurry, noticing squirrels jumping from tree to tree because they're overly excited, seeing the buildings light up in colors of white and yellow; feeling the breeze wrap around my body like a blanket; feeling like maybe just maybe I'm alive.

I've never felt alive before, and I'm not sure when I will be certain that I'm definitely living. But I know that every time I'm near the colorful haired boy, he makes me feel like I'm flying; like the world is infinite and I'm his infinity. He makes me feel worth it.

Mali had finally stepped off of the train, pulling me out of my insanely ridiculous mindset. She had a smile on her red lips that were freshly coated with her brand new lipstick.

"Did something happen today that I should know about?" I questioned, furrowing my right eyebrow out of curiosity.

"Something happened with you, yes."

"With me?" I repeated, feeling confusion jumbling inside of my body and taking over the thoughts inside of my head. What could I possibly have to do with anything that's making her smile like this?

"That is what I said," Mali retorted, her arms crossing and that smile transitioning into a miniature grin, which wouldn't be too noticeable from far away but was quite obvious up close.

"What did I do?"

"Will announced to the staff that you are getting enrolled with the department."

"Wait what?" I spat out, feeling every inch of anxiety control me, knowing that I wouldn't be able to contain my fear and confusion and anger. It wasn't possible that I'm getting enrolled with GAD, since I never applied.

"Yeah, we had a meeting about it for over fourty five minutes. He said that you just need to fill out this application and have mum sign it. And he wants you to start asap."

"I don't understand," I replied, feeling hurt because someone must have betrayed me. And there's only one person I've mentioned about the department to, aside from my family. And that someone just so happens to be the one I never thought would betray me.