Mirrors | Malum

39

Michael

I asked Calum to meet up with me at our spot, and he knew exactly what I was talking about since we met there, after all. I still couldn't believe that his parents wanted us separated, and somehow managed to be clueless enough to not have the ability to figure out that we are, in fact, still seeing each other and still in a relationship. I'm not going to let their hatred towards me break up something beautiful. I fought too long for this to just become irrelevant.

Calum had shown up ten minutes after I invited him and I was quite shocked if I could be honest. He typically takes around half an hour to arrive, if he's not making something up so he can leave. Or maybe he was already out and about, planning on seeing me. The thought of him wanting to see me made my stomach feel funny.

"What's in the bag?" Calum asked curiously as he glanced at the brown paper bag that read King Soopers. I didn't have a job, so I couldn't afford to go somewhere better, such as Sprouts or Whole Foods. Luke wasn't very pleased when finding that I spent our rent money on groceries but when I explained to him why I did such a thing, he said it was okay and would cover us just this once. I knew he didn't have the money, but Ashton did, and Ashton loved spoiling Luke. He was his miniature "sugar daddy" and gave him anything and everything he wanted.

"Things for you."

"I hope it's nothing bad or else I'll probably have a heart attack in the middle of the station and I don't think anybody wants to see that."

"Actually, this will prevent you from having a heart attack. It's food," I mumbled as I pat the spot on the bench next to me for him to sit down. I wanted him to feel comfortable knowing that I liked to eat and wanted him to eat as well. He's already incredibly skinny and struggling with an eating disorder. The best I could do is encourage him to be better, but not force him.

"F-Food? No Michael, I can't eat that. Who knows how many calories are in that," Calum stated insecurely as he wrapped his arms around his waist and secluded himself away from me. It made me sad, knowing that he didn't realize he wasn't fat. He was so much more than the body he was living in and I just wish I could prove that to him.

"There's approximately 105 calories in a banana, one to four calories in a strawberry, depending on the size and around 87 calories in a wedge of a watermelon, which is 1/16 of the entire thing. I spent my whole day researching calories just so you wouldn't freak out about it. I want you to know that it's okay to eat calories, Calum."

"Calories - you mean the things that we need to survive, but also sew our clothes a little tighter with every bite we take?"

"It depends on what you're eating, baby. It's not like I'm buying an entire pizza and asking you to eat that. I understand there's a lot of calories in junk food, which is why I'm motivating you to eat healthier."

"I'm not eating at all."

I frowned at this point, just wanting this conversation to be over. The thought of Calum not eating made my stomach churn and he deserved to feel good about himself, to feel good about his body and know that he's prettier than the number the scale represents. And to be honest, I'm not sure what it is that he sees. He is far from fat and I wish he knew that.

"You have to be eating. I've known you for longer than two months and the average human being can live twenty one days without food. I know you're eating, but you're purging afterwards and it's so unhealthy, love."

"But I feel so great knowing that I'm losing weight and one day I'll be the epitome of what everyone wants."

I shook my head, pulling his petite body closer and holding him as tight as I possibly could before he pulled away. Sure, it was weird, but he deserved to feel loved.

"It's not about what everyone else wants. It's about what you want, and if you want a perfect body, then you have to work for it. And I'm talking actually eating, exercising and treating your body right. Perfection is just a made up idea and even if it did exist, you're already there. You're perfect."

"How am I perfect if perfection doesn't exist and if I'm perfect, why do you want me to gain weight?"

"B-Because I'm afraid of losing you and can't handle the thought of you passing away because you cared too much about being thin."

And at that point, I knew Calum realized he was slowly ruining himself, and I wanted to protect him from every bad thing life had to offer. But I couldn't. Only he could. He just needed the support to, and I'd be there every step of the way.

-

"How do you work these things?"

"A treadmill?" I questioned as I watched Calum stare at the machine awkwardly. He had to, at one point, have used one of these. It's as simple as simple can get.

"You just use the arrow thingy to adjust your speed, and you can either walk or run, depending on your preference. You can also choose how long you want to go for, but I wouldn't advise you to start out at a super fast speed for a long interval since you haven't done it before."

"I was joking, I know how to use a treadmill. I was an athlete a few years ago, but I just stopped," Calum retorted with a frown, and I felt guilty for bringing him to the gym. All I wanted to do was help him get better, but maybe I'm just making him worse.

"Tell me about that while we use the treadmills, yeah?" I pursed, wanting to hear more about his lifestyle in the past.

"I had this dream of becoming a soccer player, and I was really good at it. I also had this coach who would train me at the gyms nonstop, and would have me run 10k's for practice and I'd be tired for weeks afterwards. But it was all worth it, just knowing that I'd become the guy one day who everyone would watch on television and would praise. But I never did."

"What stopped you?"

"I became fat."

"You never were," I retorted, knowing he wasn't. It was just the mindset he had that made him think he was, and now we're here, and I'm going to help his dream come true even if it's the last thing in the world that I do.

I promise I'm going to do everything I can to make Calum better again, even if it kills me.

-

A/N; This book is an example of "💩" and I'm terribly sorry for its existence. I love the idea of it, but I'm becoming a trashy writer and losing inspiration due to the fact that it is undeniably the last month of school. Finals are approaching in a few weeks, I'm stressed out over both school and work and my updates are decreasing more and more upon each week.

I'm so sorry.

I'm also sorry if every single person lost interest in this book. I wouldn't blame you.