Mirrors | Malum

23

Calum

While it may be easy for some to apply for something that they are or aren't interested in, I am not one of those people and never will be. I've been struggling with putting anything I'm decently good at out into the world because I'm the type of person who likes to keep to himself. But from the moment Michael walked into my life, that thought has flipped itself upside down and taken a turn backwards and vertically and horizontally because its confused. It's confused like the voices inside of my head, telling me that no matter what I do, I'll never be good enough. But its like Michael can hear my demons and he can hear the footsteps paddling inside of my head that are trying to pound me into the ground and he's there to save me like a superhero without a cape.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about him, either. I've kept track of the days that he shows up with a different hair color and from what I've noticed, its once every four or five weeks. He told me that he gets bored of the colors easily, which I try to remember because he easily remembers every small detail about me.

"I really don't want to be here," I mumbled to Michael as I practically clinched onto the fleece material of his white sweater that hung slightly over his hands and gave him sweater paws. I made sure that Mali couldn't hear what I had to say, because she'd surely be disappointed and even I know that disappointing people is not the direction I want to go in my life.

"I know," Michael replied with guilt, his voice fulfilling with sadness. I felt slightly bad for getting angry at him but I knew that he had taken things too far and pushed his limit even if the sky told him it was his limit and he could do whatever he pleased because he's Michael Clifford. The world unfortunately doesn't work like that and he needs to understand that not everyone is as confident and as comfortable with their skills as he is.

"Hello Michael, Calum. Good to see you boys again."

I remember looking up at Will and cringing because this isn't the place I wanted to get involved with. They cared way too much about dressing to impress with their ridiculous attire that consisted of buttoned up white blouses and black silky pants that had to match with whatever color shoes they were wearing, along with a red tie that was perfectly knotted.

"I'm assuming you're here to audition for the department."

"We have to audition?" Michael asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice, as if he thought that being enrolled was that simple when it requires a lot more than just signing a couple of papers and leaving.

"I believe that is the answer, yes. Did you finally decide to join our department as well?"

Will's lips were curved into a small smile while Michael's were slightly parted and very plump and pink. It'd be weird to tell him this, but I somewhat wanted to kiss him. And I've never thought about him like that to the point where it was a desperate attempt to make him feel something as well.

"I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make Calum happy."

Will smiled again, this time showing his extremely white teeth that were obviously polished by a dentist but at least it looked good on him.

"Now that's love."

"Love?" I choked out, feeling my whole entire body whimper below me. I didn't like the way that word sounded falling off of his tongue. It didn't dance like a beautiful ballerina twirling on an empty, dusted stage under green, purple, red and yellow lights that made their skin gleam like a rainbow.

"Are you not dating?" Will asked in a confused manner and I felt myself growing more and more uncomfortable by the second. I could tell Michael noticed and he awkwardly ruffled his hands in my hair as a way to show Will that we were nothing but platonic friends.