What Doesn't Kill You (Sequel to Your Secrets Safe With Me (Brallon))

West Coast Smoker

(a/n: horses are so annoying sometimes, like you give them a bath and they just roll in the dirt after)

Time passed ever so slowly as I stared at the battered boy in the hospital bed. I didn't know what I was going to do this time, last time I had a plan and someone to stay with. Now all my friends were always gone at a show every night in a different city, but I couldn't go back to the apartment we shared and see the places we used to hang out.

It was too much to think about, it was too hard to think about life without him. Not waking up every morning tangled up with him, or never hearing that laugh of his that always made me melt. I would never have to hold him while he cried in the middle of the night, or hold his hand when we walked down a dark street.

No, Brendon, he's not dead, there's still a chance he could pull out of this. Life could go back to normal and you could live happily ever after. But even if he did pull through this one, would he still be the same? Would he be even more scared? Would I even be able to get him out of the house?

So many question ran through my head that I didn't even notice when Hannah walked into the room, but now she was sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair next to me with a hand on my shoulder.

"Brendon you can't stay here, I have a spare bedroom in my apartment, you can stay there until..." Her voice trailed off, but I knew what she meant. Until he died or woke up.

I just shook my head and rest my hand in my heads, trying to hold back the tears that were building up inside of me. I wanted to run away, it didn't matter where, as long as it was away from this hospital and this town. As long as I was somewhere that no one knew my name and I could just be some guy.

"Brendon please listen to me, all of us are so worried. Pete and Patrick are cancelling the rest of their tour to be here for you. Tyler and Josh drove all night. Just please don't fall apart on us this time, we know it's hard we loved-love him to. We want to be here for you, but you have to let us." She pulled a protein bar out of her and offered it to me.

I stared at her, confused, before I realized that I hadn't eaten in the three days Dallon had been there. Cautiously I took the bar, I don't know why I was so careful about it, it wasn't like the food was going to jump out and bite me. I stared down at the brightly wrapped bar in my hands,  I wasn't hungry and the thought of food made me want to throw up so I set the bar down on the bedside table and kept staring at all the tubes that ran into my husbands arm to keep him alive. Though I never made eye contact with the girl sitting next to me I knew she was frowning.

"Brendon" She started but never finished. She just got up and walked out.

I was glad she was gone, but now I was alone again. Alone with my maybe dying love.

**Hannah's POV**

I couldn't believe him, he didn't even seem to care about his friends, the people who were practically his family. He even seemed to forget that Dallon was my family to, that I loved him to. Dallon was the brother I had to raise, the one I had to keep out of trouble and keep alive. He was my responsibility just as much as he was Brendon's, maybe even more.

All of his friends looked at me expectantly as I walked back into the waiting room, where we had all taken over. I just shook my head and took my seat again, I know Brendon's hurting to but he is being extremely inconsiderate of the people around him.

"Brendon get's like this, Dallon is the only person I've ever seen him care about so just give him time." Pete sat beside me. Bags hung under his eyes, he was exhausted and worried, despite his new fiancee's attempts to get him to rest.

"He didn't even say anything while I was up there, just stared off into the distance." I slouched back into the chair pushing my bangs out of my face.

"If they'd let me up there I'd give him a piece of my mind, but they won't so we just have to wait. Was he crying at all?" Pete seemed concerned.

"No, his eyes were red, but more from not sleeping for three days than crying." It was weird, Brendon hadn't really cried, he had more been staring off into space.

" So he was staring off into space? He does that when he's scared or upset, which I guess is both right now. I can't help to feel bad for him, I mean if it was Patrick in that bed for the second time I wouldn't be doing so great either. We just need to make sure he doesn't pick up... um... well Dallon's old habits." I knew what Pete meant and he was right.

If all goes south, Brendon would be the last thing I had left of my brother. He had seen firsthand what cutting and the suicide attempts had done to people, but after all he had been through I'm not sure if he would care. Everything would be destroyed and Brendon would slip through our fingertips like sand.   I didn't want to lose him to, I had grown to like the boy and the way he loved Dallon.

Oh Brendon, please don't slip away before Dallon's hourglass runs out. Even if it does, there are still people outside that hospital room that care a lot about you. Don't do this to them.