What Doesn't Kill You (Sequel to Your Secrets Safe With Me (Brallon))

Drown

(a/n: your girls got a boyfriend, I also really suggest you listen to the linked song this is also going to be the last chapter most likely, I'm really sorry about this)

The next week of my life was spent locked in the room I had claimed as mine and crying into the pillow. I cried for him, I cried for myself, I cried for what my life would become Ryan had tried to get me to come out, he'd bring me food every meal, make sure I hadn't killed myself yet. He meant well but sometimes he would just make it worse.

Two weeks later I had gone out into the world, hoping I would find a nice bridge to jump off of, instead I ran into a pretty cool guy smoking a blunt. We talked for awhile about life and about death. He offered me a smoke, I obliged since he said it helps to forget. Well now, a few weeks later, I met up with him more and more often. He showed me different types of drugs that could make me forget all about him, sometimes they worked, sometimes they didn't. I was willing to try anything to do it though.

Ryan had begun to question where I run off to every day, he thinks I've met someone new, but there is no one else for me but him. He isn't here anymore. Ryan tried to get me to go record songs with him, he wanted to piece together a new album for the band. He had tweeted out a memorial tweet for him and told the fans what had happened and all about us. I always turned down the offer and gone out to do the drugs that would make me forget.

Ryan found out one day when he followed me one day. He yelled at me, told me this isn't what he would've wanted. Even got Hannah involved, but let's face it, there was no one to fix me now. I had fallen into a spiral of self hate and depression and there was no one to pull me out anymore. No one could patch me up the way Dallon could.

Today I was getting ready to go out and meet Oli, my drug dealer. Ryan was out on a date or something so I could walk out freely without being stopped and questioned. I pulled my leather jacket on and grabbed the skateboard that leaned against the wall near the door.  I was meeting Oli and a couple of his friends at his place for a party, he said he got some stuff that will make me forget everything, stuff that'll transport me to a whole nother universe. Somewhere where he never existed.

"Hey Urie." Oli greeted me as I leaned my board against the wall outside his apartment. 

"Hey, tonight's gonna be awesome!" I laughed as I saw many people were already there.

"Yeah, I saved the good stuff just for you." Oli laughed lighting a blunt and passing it to me.

"Sweet let's get this party started." The rest of the night consisted of weed, cocaine, molly, and girls that danced on tables. I wasn't that interested in the girls, but the drugs made everything relevant.

Later on Oli brought me something he called LSD. He told me to open my mouth and placed something on my tongue. Nothing happened so I figured it was another one of those useless feel good drugs that just lightened up your mind a little more and I continued to lay in some random guy's lap and giggling like a schoolgirl.

45 minutes later I was starting to feel the effects of the LSDs. Everything was so vivid around me, like it was in a dream. Colors mixed and swirled together, making me laugh harder as the glowing white and neon pink mixed into a swirl. Then I saw something that was too vivid not to be real.

Standing by the door, leaning against the door and staring at me was Dallon James Weekes in all his glory. The black lights making his white shirt and pants glow and shine, like he was a angel. I made eye contact with his ocean blue eyes, the sharks that used to haunt the waters were gone and the fish and other sea creatures played happily with nothing to ever scare them away. I wanted to go over to him and touch every  inch of his body, I wanted to remove his shirt and see if any of the beautiful scars still tainted his body. I wanted our lips to connect and never part. He beckoned to me with a finger and slipped out the door into the night.

Immediately I bolted up right off of the random guy's lap and ran off into the cold night, not even bothering to put my jacket back on. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, still glowing despite there being nothing to make his pale skin so vibrant. He beckoned me again and fled off into a dark forest of twisting trees that  seemed to engulf his radiating body into a dark swirl of corrupt evil. It was his mind. 

I followed him, using my arms to block the tree branches that snapped in my face. As long as I could see the light I was okay and I could keep track of the man I love. The need to touch him grew stronger, I needed to feel his skin, his lips, his soft hair, the way he always tasted like strawberries and coffee. I needed him and I had gone too long without touching him. 

The trees stopped and I was greeted with Dallon's smiling lips centimeters away from mine. He leaned in closer, but at the last minute he pulled away and ran across the clearing and stood on the other side. I began to run towards him, but then I heard a loud honking noise. The clearing disappeared as I turned to see I was standing in the middle of a road and there was a car coming full speed at me. I was frozen and couldn't move as the vehicle crashed into my. Bones snapped and organs were punctured, there was a brief moment of intense pain before there was a soft white light and I looked up to see Dallon helping me up. 

I looked down to see my body sprawled across the concrete. Dallon reached down and pulled our rings out of the pocket of my body. He placed them back on both of our fingers  and grabbed my my hand in his. 

"Nothing can separate us now." He whispered in my ear before guiding me off to a glowing white door way.

For the first time in two months I smiled for real.