What Doesn't Kill You (Sequel to Your Secrets Safe With Me (Brallon))

Camisado

(a/n: ...)

All night long I paced back in forth, despite my friends attempts to calm me. There was no more new of my love, I didn't care if the news was good or bad, I just needed to know so I could now whether my hope was being wasted or not.

"Brendon, this is really unhealthy. I honestly don't think you've slept in a long time, look I know it's hard, but you need to rest. I don't want you to end up in a hospital bed as well." Hannah gave me a look of worry. 

I knew she was worried, not just about Dallon, but about me too. I knew she cared for Dallon just as much as I did. Somehow I couldn't bring myself to do these things for her, there was no strength inside me to care about other people. Hell, how could I care for other people when I couldn't even care for myself.

"Bren please" Pete gave me a scared look. He hadn't slept either, he had sent Patrick home around two hours ago so he could rest. It felt like that was two minutes ago and at the same time it felt like 2 days.

Time was a weird blur, everything in my mind just looped everything together and everything I could pick out was from a weird third person point of view. Like I was a ghost watching my body. That's how it felt to, I was here and breathing, but I felt like I was back a year and a half ago. The first time my love was dying.

"Weekes family." A dainty blonde nurse called out quietly.

Hannah stood up and we both rushed over to where she was standing. As badly as I needed to know what was to come, there was no telling if I was ready for it.

"I'm so very sorry. The bleeding in his brain is out of control and the doctors are having a hard time getting the swelling to go down in his trachea. There is not much more the doctors can do, they think it's time for you to decide whether to pull the plug or not." Oh god I couldn't breathe. I tried to contain my composure as much as possible.

"Well what are the other options, are there any signs that he might pull through." Luckily Hannah spoke up before I could.

"Well, they think if they keep him like his for much longer the percentage of oxygen to his brain will decrease and with the amount of bleeding he will go brain dead." Her voice was shaky, she wasn't very experienced in giving this kind of news.

"Is he in pain?" I mumbled, my voice hoarse from not speaking for so long.

"I'm sorry." The small nurse looked confused.

"I s-said i-is he in pain?" I stuttered out a little louder.

"He is unconscious, but I could imagine if he could feel it he would be." She confirmed quietly, as if she shouldn't say it.

"Then he shouldn't have to suffer for our comfort." I snarled, turning my back and wandering off through the corridors of the hospital, looking for a room in which everyone was welcomed.

After following some signs and making some wrong turns, I ended up in the chapel of the hospital. It felt wrong for me to be in here, but I needed someone to talk to, whether they were real or not. I slid into a back pew of the chapel and looked around for a couple of seconds, observing the scene around me. There was an older woman in a hospital gown with her head bowed, and a woman around her mid-thirties crying with her head in her hands. So many sad people, but somehow I couldn't relate, I didn't come to cry or to ask some divine being to heal my husband. I really just came to sit.

"It's okay to not be okay" A girl with long brown hair and crystal blue eyes stopped next to me.

"I'm sorry."  I raised my eyes to meet hers.