The Original High (Koli) ✔️

24: Who Needs Sleep Anyway

I just feel like posting a few chapters so I can motivate myself to continue actually writing this because idk.

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After another of my therapy sessions, I was ready to crawl into bed and sleep. I was exhausted from the emotions that my therapist managed to get out of me, yet again, and I just wanted the day to be over. But instead, I was called out to the lounging area of the house. I didn't really treat it as a facility anymore. . . for the time being, this was my home. Whether I liked it or not.

I made my way to the lounging area, greeting Justin who was watching tv as I walked in. He simply smiled and gave me a quick nod as I walked on. I wondered what I was called in here for, until I saw a familiar face sitting at a table in the back.

"Tay!" I screeched happily as I watched her get up, almost forgetting where I was and how I felt, as I lunged at her and wrapped my arms around her neck to hug her. I was relieved to finally see a familiar face.

She hugged me back, but only loosely and kind of reluctant. As soon as I noticed that, I let go of her and we both sat down. "How are you feeling?" She asked me, her brows furrowing as she scanned me from head to toe.

"Fine!" I lied. Of course I was feeling horrible, but it was part of the process, right?

"You do understand why I put you here, right?" Tay then asked, her tone going dark. "You could've killed yourself, Kellin." The heaviness and intensity she put on the word really made me cringe. "I mean really, what the fuck is wrong with you? Do you not care about anyone but yourself?"

Her choice of words made her sound exactly like our father. And it hurt, a lot. But perhaps I had been selfish, trying to 'kill' myself like that. . . whether that was actually my goal or not. I didn't even remember what had led me to that moment.

"But. . . I'm here now. I'm getting myself fixed." I said, almost sounding desperate for her understanding.

"Only because I put your ass in here!" Tay then snapped. And sadly, she was kind of right. "Damnit, Kellin. . . you need to open your eyes and look at what your actions do to the people around you. I took you into my home, away from the crap. . . and yet you only got worse!"

"I'm sorry?" I muttered, not knowing what else to say really. I felt like a seven-year-old child being put in his place by his pissed off parent. Which wasn't exactly going to help my situation very much.

Tay then sat back in her chair and started scrolling through something on her phone. "When's the last time you used?" She asked after a moment of silence, not even looking at me.

"I haven't used since I've been here. Not anything, I swear." And that was the truth. They had even kept me off my prescribed medication, since that was the actual problem. All I got here were herbal things and natural crap.

She looked up from her phone, her eyebrow arched. The look on her face was one of pure disbelief. "Look, I'm still here, aren't I?" I then told her. "I'm trying."

"Well I hope you are, because this is pretty much your last chance. It's fucked up enough that it had to get this far in the first place."

Every word that left Tay's mouth felt pretty degrading. But in a way I understood why she was like this. I knew she was just worried, though she had an awful way of showing it. She eventually left giving me another one of her loose hugs, and I just felt absolutely horrible.

"Was that your girlfriend or something?" Justin asked me during dinner. "Because the way she talked to you was very fucking disrespectful, Quinn."

I shook my head as I pried my fork around in my vegetables. "Firstly, I'm full on gay, so no, that was my sister."

"Well that doesn't make it much better." Justin then growled.

I chuckled sarcastically and ate the rest of my food. Welcome to my world.

After eating, I went straight to bed. My therapy session and afternoon with Tay had made me extremely emotionally exhausted, and honestly I really just wanted the day to be over. I felt down and kind of depressed as Tay's words echoed in my head. . . just as all the bad words from anyone always would.

I eventually fell asleep, having the most strange and lucid dreams. In my dream I was in a flowy, colorful summer outfit. I felt quite content as I exited the doors of Wonderland. . . the rehab, not the imaginary world. . . and made my to a nearby park. I walked down the paths, sunlight glistening brightly in the reflection of the lake. I smiled as a small crowd of people surrounded me. They smiled too, at first, but all of that soon faded.

The sun disappeared and my surroundings got dark. The crowd of people all stared at me angrily, some grinning evilly. Grins that reminded me of that awful night in the bar. Jake then stepped out in front of me, once again grabbing me by the neck forcefully. I screamed and squirmed. This time I managed to get myself out of his grasp. I pushed myself passed the rest of the people and ran, stumbling over a few rocks. And then suddenly, I fell, hard.

That's when I woke up. I found myself on the floor next to my bed, breathing heavily. I still felt that awful feeling of people surrounding me, so I quickly crawled into the corner of my room and pulled my knees up to my chest. I tried to breathe and calm myself down, but it only got worse. Tears burst from my eyes as I sat there, helplessly.

Suddenly then I heard a door open, but I didn't look up to see who it was. It's not like it even mattered anyway.

Two arms then wrapped around me and pulled me into a careful embrace. I then opened my eyes and recognized by the tattoos that it was Justin. But I couldn't stop sobbing. I couldn't even say anything.

And neither did he. He just silently held me and let me ride out my panic attack. When it was finally over, I took a few deep breaths and wiped away my tears.

Justin carefully held me by my shoulders and looked at me with the smallest of smiles I had ever seen. "Are you okay?" He asked me.

I nodded quickly and sighed, still panting heavily. "I-I'm sorry." I stuttered apologetically. "I didn't mean to wake you up again or anything."

He laughed a little and shook me playfully. "Ah well, who needs sleep anyway?" He joked, obviously trying to make me feel better. "I know you hardly know me, but I want you to be okay, okay? This is tough and the last thing you need is people talking you down." He was obviously referring to my sister.

And he was right; I really didn't need that.