25: I Don't Remember

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My time in rehab flew by. Before I even knew it, another three months had passed.

In my opinion I was doing pretty great. Though I often still felt the odd symptoms of withdrawal. . . or not so much withdrawal, but more like a mad craving. I hadn't even had the chance to smoke a single cigarette while I was here, so I figured I had to give that up along with the rest. Or at least try anyways.

Once addicted, always addicted, was the theory. . . it just depended on whether you were strong enough to resist the temptation. "I miss going out and casually having a drink, though. Fuck, I really do." I complained one day.

Justin chuckled at my sudden outburst. "We'll have a drink together someday." He promised me.

I gave him a skeptic look. "Wouldn't that be a bad idea, mister recovering alcoholic?" I pointed out, mockingly.

He flicked my nose and laughed. "I told you, I'm clean. I can behave."

"Yeah, we'll see about that."

It was then that I heard some slumpy footsteps come closer to me. I sighed, figuring that it was Charlie. . . he one of the new guys who was brought in last week. He often bugged just about everyone, begging them for drugs.

"How many times do we have to tell you, Charlie? This is rehab; you're supposed to get off the drugs. We honestly, seriously do not have any." I pointed out in an annoyed tone.

"Uh, Quinn. . ." Justin then murmured, eyeing the person behind me, as a soft smile curled onto his lips. I looked at him questioningly and then followed his gaze to the short, skinny man that stood behind me.

"Vic?!" I then loudly exclaimed, finally realizing that it was him.

I jumped out of my chair and flung my arms around his neck tightly. Resulting in him starting to chuckle as he hugged me back. "God I'm so glad to see you." I breathed happily, though I was kind of surprised to see that he was here on his own.

"It's good to see you too." He told me, not letting go of me just yet. "How have you been holding up?"

I leaned back in his arms and smiled. "I've been doing alright." And this time I wasn't lying. "Had some good company." I then told him as I turned my head and smiled down at Justin.

"Him?" Vic then asked. "Hell if you're gonna hang around with him, you'll be in here forever." He joked.

"Watch yourself, Fuentes." Justin then warned him with a laugh.

I then let go of Vic and sat back down. He pulled out a chair and sat down beside me, messing up my hair as he always used to. It was good to see a friend again after all this time. "So how is everyone? How are the guys?" I asked him.

"Good, good. Well we've just returned from Europe, which was fucking amazing. The new album is doing so well. We're joining Warped again this summer." He was obviously very pleased with that. "And still waiting for you to get those hits so you can join us, Kell."

I frowned a little. Hits? What hits? "I have no idea what you're talking about." I admitted with a chuckle.

"Excuses, excuses." Vic muttered jokingly as he shook his head. "Don't expect to just get out of our deal because you're in rehab, Kell." I was honestly surprised at how relaxed he was being. I at least expected a similar speech to the one my sister had given me when she visited.

Still, I didn't understand what he was talking about. "It's the truth, though!"

Vic laughed for a moment, but then got quiet again- his look going from pleased to serious, and I knew that he was going to tell me something important. I knew him well enough to recognize the signs that he wasn't sure how I was going to react to whatever he was going to tell me.

"Spill it." I muttered as I watched him think.

He cocked his eyebrows in surprise as he looked at me, and then lowered them again. "They told me you might be suffering from some memory loss, but if you forgot about our deal, then. . ." He didn't finish his sentence, though.

"Do you remember who you last dated?" Vic then asked cautiously, after a moment of silence.

I grumbled and nodded. "Yeah. . . that asshole who got his band mate to rape me in a fucking bathroom stall." I snapped a little angrily. I sighed and closed my eyes as I forced away the memory. "Please don't make me talk about him, they already make me do that way too often in here."

"I won't." Vic was quick to promise me. "Just. . . I'll be right back, I need to use the bathroom."

I opened my eyes and gave Vic a curt nod as I watched him get up and walk away.

Vic made his way out of the room where we met up, my heart heavy for some reason. So I decided to carefully follow him, finding it slightly odd that he was slouching like he was about to drop a heartbreaking bomb. His entire demeanor had changed so suddenly.

I followed him around the corner into another hallway, but quickly backed up again when I found Vic approaching an unfamiliar man leaning against the wall, scrolling through his phone. "Hey." Vic called out, catching his attention.

I hid myself around the corner, hoping they wouldn't notice me.

"And?" The unfamiliar guy questioned, his voice rough and full of doubt.

"Um- shit, I'm sorry. . . he. . . he doesn't remember." Vic responded, his voice a little saddened.

"He doesn't remember me?" He? Were they talking about me? Was I supposed to remember this guy? Who was he?

So many questions ran through my mind, it was almost giving me a headache.

"Well, can't I go see him?" The stranger then asked, obvious sadness lacing his voice too.

"Sorry." Vic muttered in response. "That's probably a bad idea."

"But he'll be out of here soon, right?"

I sure as hell hoped so.

One of them sucked in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "That's good." The stranger sounded a bit emotional as he spoke, like he was about to cry.

I didn't want to think about him too much, though. I knew there were gaps in my memory. But if I forced myself to try to remember, it could only backfire. That's what I had been told, anyway. I had to give it time.

After Vic left, I went straight into my room, not saying a word to Justin. Sadly, what had happened earlier never really left my mind. I had panic attack after panic attack that night. I felt absolutely awful and I was so confused. If I didn't even remember the deal I made with Vic, or this guy who apparently came to see me, then what else did I not remember? And how did that happen?

My head was hurting so much. My breathing was heavy and. . . I felt so lost.

Yet another panic attack was rising as a few nurses then stormed in, as well as my assigned therapist. "Sedate him." She barked, giving the others more instructions.

But I ignored them completely. All I could focus on was my mind questioning what else I had forgotten about. But that soon proved to be a useless attempt.

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