Chapter 18 - What If..

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Kim Cheon Jae

My feet stopped and I started breathing heavily. I looked around. I don't know where I am. On my left, was a park and on my right and front was the housing area.

I'm so lost.. and I don't care.

I walked to the swing set and sat on a swing, swaying my body slowly. Arghh.. my legs are killing me. My legs felt like jellies right now, so weak. I hate my skinny legs.

I hate myself.

I can't help but to ask why. Why does Halmeoni hates me? Because I'm the cause of Appa's death. I'm a murderer. How can I live when my dad was killed by me. The guilt is going to drown me forever. I'm a bad girl, who doesn't have any memories about herself and everything around her. Useless b*tch.

My tears started to fall, rushing down my cheek with no stop. I cried and sobbed, alone.

I pulled out my phone and stared at it for a long time.

23 missed call
Mom

I'm sorry Mom, you have a flight to catch but now you're worrying yourself about me. I'm the worst daughter.

I texted Mom that I'm fine and needed some time, alone. I promised her I'll be back at Harabeoji's house as soon as I'm okay. Well, clearly I don't know where I am now and where's Harabeoji's house.

I sighed and started to shiver from head to toe.

6.15 p.m.

It's really cold as the sun nearly set. Luckily I wore a sweater and I instantly zipped it up till my neck.

While I was swaying on the swing alone, I felt a pat on my right shoulder. I froze, I'm too scared to turn and see whom.

"Jagi?!" called someone.

I knew that sweet and manly voice. I instantly turn around and saw, Yoongi.

"Jagiya! What are you doing here, alone? It's cold outside. You sho--"

I jumped down the swing and hugged him without any hesitate. I'm scared, cold and lonely. I cried in his chest.

He hugged me back and patted my back gently. "There, there honey. It's alright, I'm here."

"Yoongi-ah lets go home, wh- Cheon Jae??" said someone.

I pushed Yoongi's chest and turned to the voice behind him. Bomi?

My eyes widened to see her, here.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her, folding my arms.

"She's with me .We're just from m--"

"-from our date." stated Bomi. She cut Yoongi.

My eyes widened. WHAT?

"No, where just from m--"

"You are dating her? You are dating her behind my back??" I yelled at him.

He stepped closer to me. "No, jagi it's not like th-"

I took stepped back as he kept trying to came closer. "It's not like that? What else Yoongi? You're cheating behind my back! My boyfri--"

I sobbed and my tears fell again. He tried to hold me when I pushed him away. "Jagiya.."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! Don't ever call me that again. I'm sick of you! I'm sick of everyone!" I shouted and slowly backing off before I-

Run.

I ran.. again, leaving Yoongi and Bomi behind. I ran again on the street, don't care of the cold breeze slapping my face.

My tears fell again, down my cheeks for the fifth time today. Pabo.

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