Ride or Die {Book 1} ✔️

Chapter 2: Three Words; I. Hate. You.

I freaked out the second I entered the house through the door. The hair on my nape was standing and I couldn't really breathe like a normal person. The silence creep me out because the house that I call home is never quiet, never, so when I walked inside the house from a long and awful day at school, there should be something.

I heard nothing though. And this was making my insides go a little crazy, like Dora without her map. No direction, no sense of where to go, and just plain needy for the audience to help her. And here I was without a clue of what to expect, of what was going on, and needy for a damn explanation before I go nuts.

I stepped into the house slowly, lightly closing the door behind me. A lump formed in my throat as I walked down the brown hallway, the sound of my feet seemed to echo in my ears. Where were Clark and my stupid mother? Had they left to go somewhere? But that couldn't be the case. They never left to go anywhere expect at a late night time. That's when they wanted to go out and party, at a stupid club. Which is usually when my mother picked up another guy, thinking she could find better. Yeah, right. That made sense. She'll go to a club with nothing but drunken people in it to find a better guy. Right!

I shook my head, trying to get the thoughts out as I walked through the surprisingly clean kitchen. What’s going on, seriously? The kitchen, it was never cleaned. I would use my insomniac nights to clean up the messes they usually left behind for me. As silently as possible, I headed to my room. What I found made me internally gasp. What the hell was going on? Is the world coming to a damn end? Oh my freaking god! I blinked about a million times and shook my head. If that didn't work, then this couldn't be a dream. But just in case, I pinched myself and the pain spread through my arm. Okay so I wasn't dreaming.  

I wanted to drop to the ground. My heart pounded so loudly I think the people in Hawaii could hear it. "Who are you?" I asked cautiously. Here's what made me want to find the old wooden bat my mother used to keep in the closet and just go nuts with the damn thing. First, my room was empty expect for my dresser, nightstand, desk, and bed. Everything was gone, my alarm clock, my laptop, my clothes that were in my open closet door, and my sheets. Second, no Clark was around but my mother was sitting on my bed like it was hers. And the best for last, an unfamiliar man was standing by my open window, peering out like it was the most casual thing in the goddamn world.

"What the hell is going on?" I directed the words at my mother, who all of a sudden looked like she was actually a parent. The world was definitely coming to an end. She had even put her nappy hair in a neat bun on the side of her head and had on eyeliner with lip-gloss. When did she never look like a drunk and un-parent like person? Man, has the Earth turned upside down and started rotating around Mars?

My mother turned her head sharply in my direction, her eyes cold. "Don't you dare use that language with me, Katherine Ker Smith."

Now, this made me raise my eyebrows. Who the hell did she think she was? I was the one who had to deal with her bullshit and her so-called love issues. I was the one who had to clean the whole house just not to make it like a whole damn tornado disaster. I was also the one who had to babysit her butt when she came home drunk and lonely. That is what made me pissed off. "Excuse me, but I use this language with you ever since you became a good for nothing, drunk, low ass parent. Well excuse me, Mom. I didn't know that you were suddenly one. What, you couldn't find another drunken boyfriend to help with your needs? So you want to take it out on me?"

I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the doorframe. Why would a child talk to her mother like this? My stomach twisted and curled but I've wanted to get to the truth. I care about her, loved her, but she needed to grow up. I might not be strong enough to help when her so-called boyfriends became violent, but I was strong enough to help her with herself. Though, when she spoke her next words, it was like a mirror had been broken and shattered. Just think of that mirror as my heart. "You're one to talk about being a low ass. You're nothing but a coward. I don't even know why I didn't have an abortion, everyone told me to. You don't make my life any better. I can't believe you would talk to me like this. I'm not one of your school friends; I'm not going to take this from someone like you. If you want to start speaking the truth then I'm going to start speaking the truth. You're nothing but a coward that thinks you're strong enough to be something but, however that's all in that small brained and hard headed mind of yours."

The mirror crumbled and fell in the darkness, forever. My vision was blurring and I found it hard to take in a breath at all. I clenched my shirt, trying to stop the panic arising in my stomach. Just breathe; inhale and exhale. I opened my mouth but nothing could come past the large lump in my throat. It was as if a fog had come over my brain, I couldn't think through it, couldn't process words. If anything, I didn't know what to do or how to do it. Scream at her? Say something? A deep and raging anger boiled inside of me, so hard I almost fell from its pressure. How dare her. How could she? That's what she really thought? I bent over, choking for the oxygen my lungs begged for. My shoulders shook as I sobbed and then I snapped.

I screamed so loud I think I saw the glass rattling. And then words, they came to me like magic. "Is that really what you think? After everything I do for you? I try to help you! I try so hard to make you come to your senses and this is the payment I get? You don't understand me at all! If you don't want me just kick me out! You might as well! I hate you! I hate you! You're the one who's the coward! You don't even know me, to judge me like that! I can't do anything for you because you don't let me! You're a terrible mother you're nothing! Do you hear me? Nothing! You don't care! This is what you want me to think about you? Is it? You let them hit you, you let them influence you, and you let them ruin you! I'm the one who has to do your job! Don't you understand, you're a dumb ass! Stupid, dumb, drunk, whore! I can't believe you. I hate you! You can die alone, you stupid bi-'

The man who was at the window interrupted me. He was next to me with his hand on my shoulder. "Stop, Katherine. That's enough."

I snapped on him. "What do you know? Who the fuck do you think you are? Get the hell away from me! That stupid woman is probably your whore! Don't talk to me like you understand my life! You don't know me!" I was choking on the tears that flowed freely down my cheeks and I tried to breathe as I fell down to my knees. I sucked in oxygen but it didn't seem possible. Then I continued to yell, the rage I kept so bottled up just couldn't stop from shaking my whole body. "I hate you! Your life, you pushed it on me and I had to live with it! You know what I thought? I actually thought you were going to get over it, that you wouldn't keep making these stupid mistakes. But I was stupid to think that, what a dumb ass I am for having that false hope. You won't ever get better; you'll only continue to fall. And you know what? I can't wait for you to break, to see how stupid and ugly you really are on the inside. How you ruin people, make them drop to your low level."

I glared at her through my thick teary vision. I saw nothing, not my mother, not my parent, I saw a stranger. Someone I didn't know any longer. I felt someone pulling on my shoulder, dragging me to my numb feet. “You're going to die alone and even afterwards, you're going to be alone. You're nothing. I. Hate. You,” I spat the words at her as we pulled out of the room.

I sobbed so hard, I didn't even notice that I was outside and was being placed inside a black car. My body instantly curled up into a ball and I put my head between my knees. My breathing was too fast and I was breaking so much, I couldn't calm down. I sniffed, trying not to gag on my own snot. That's when I felt the hand rubbing the small of my back, patting and rubbing. I don't know how long it took for me to cry my mind out and then calm down. After so long, I was finally quiet with the occasional sniffing.

And that was when the man in the driver's seat decided it was time to explain his self. He couldn't have made the matters any worse than they already were. "Katherine, you don't know me, but I'm your father. And I'm here to take you away from here."

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Sorry it took so long for this update! This chapter sucked, sorry! Thanks for taking the time to read this mess, I'll try to update more often, but I don't have Internet anymore. :(:( Comment, vote, fan. Please? Thank you for the support!

xoxo