Ride or Die {Book 1} ✔️

Chapter 20: When Did You Care So Much?

Chapter 20: When Did You Care So Much?

What was going on here? I continued to stare at phone as if it would explain what the hell just happened. My mother was in... Chicago. Of all places to be at this moment and time, it had to be here. I pressed my shaking and cold hands against my temples, my head throbbing at the thoughts in it.

Drug dealing.

Evan's mother.

My mother.

I couldn't take it anymore. I just couldn't escape anything, one thing just lead to another terrible thing. Life it sucked, that's just it, that's the only thing left. That was the only explanation for all these things that were happening. What was I going to do? How was I going to get her back? This was all her fault, getting caught up with him in the first place.

And here I was, again, getting her out of her problems. Why was it always me that had to go through this pain just for her sake? She was a grown woman for god's sake! I signed lightly and leaned my head back against the wall, struggling to keep the tears from falling out of my blurred eyes. There was too much going on, just plain too much.

The clock in the waiting room ticked quietly, filling the silent room and echoing in my skull. I had to tell my father what was going on. He'll think I was just bringing him troubles, being a total burden on him ever since I first got here. Maybe I needed to go away, to a boarding school and just get away from everything. 

Signing, I moved forward in the seat before pushing myself on weak legs. Before I could make it to the door that lead out to the lobby so I could go home and cry myself back to hell, I heard Evan's voice.

"Something up?"

I laughed bitterly. "When is there never?"

Silence was my answer, just like always. I struggled to move my feet and walk towards the waiting room doors, feelings like a complete zombie. Outside, I snapped out of my trance when I heard the door slam close for a second time. Turning my head, I looked to see Evan leaning casually on the glass, staring me right in the eyes making shivers go down my back. 

It was rather cold outside and my bare legs were shivering lightly. I still hadn't gotten the chance to take my morning shower or anything, stuck in the same clothes from yesterday. Grey track pants and a red hoodie, only a sports bra underneath. The coldness of the atmosphere seemed to go through my little amount of clothing and my skin until it had me chilled to the bones.

Holding his eye contact, I could feel my eyes blurring even more than before, the tears overlapping. I blinked furiously, turning my head away from him again and quickly walking in the direction of my house. What had I done with my skateboard? Did I leave back at the park yesterday as well? I tried to distract myself, thinking about where I left the stupid thing, but my mind continued to turn back to that one horrible subject.

He had my mother.

He was the drug leader.

And he had my mother.

The equation reeked of nothing but horror. What was I going to do? Wrapping arms around my waist I moved at a brisk pace, my mid-section went from throbbing to hammering and I was forced to slow down. I didn't notice the tears falling down my cheeks until a salt taste dipped inside my mouth. I couldn't take it anymore, fuck trying to be strong.

I clasped in the someone's yard grass and brought my knees up to my chest, crying into them. I wrapped my arms around my face so I could block out how the sun was shining light down between thick dark grey skies. A brisk wind slapped against my back as I bawled my eyes out, feeling weak and hopeless.