Don't Leave Me Again (Sequel to Finally Found You)

Part 13

          I start to say something but change my mind and we just sit there in silence, both praying that Jimmy wakes up. All I’m thinking is for him to be alright and for everything to go back to normal. I started to remember our conversation the night of the river trip. Our talk about his sister Chloe, how he used to like me, he even told me about his pet lizard named Coda. I hear someone walk on the bus and see Tom standing beside Ben.

          “Where did you go?” Tom asks Ben.

          “No where just walking around staring at Jimmy’s compass. A few months back he got separated from the 2nd Mass. Took two days to find him again so Weaver gave him his compass so he could always find his way home.” Ben says. I smile to myself, remembering that time.

          “Don’t blame yourself for this.” Tom tells him.

          “Everyone else does.” Ben says.

          “That’s not true.” Tom says.

          “I’ve seen the way everyone looks at me. Hal, Matt, even you and Kali.” Ben says. I look up wanting to say something but Tom beats me to it.

          “No.” Tom says.

          “Yes.” Ben barely whispers.

          “No.” Tom says again.

          “Fine whatever but, you think I wouldn’t wanna be lying there instead of him?” Ben says.

          “I’m sure that you would. Just like there isn’t a day that goes by that I wish and pray that your mother was still alive. I know it sucks it really sucks. Sometimes it feels like you can’t even go on. Except you don’t have a choice but to go on. And the good news is we’ve got each other to help go on through a lousy situation. Bad news is,” Tom says.

          “It’s a lousy situation.” They both finish off saying. I say the same thing but whisper it to myself. Tom leaves and I look up at Ben. He is still staring at the compass so I get up, get another chair and sit beside him.

          “I’m sorry, Tom’s right this isn’t your fault. And we certainly don’t think it’s your fault.” I say softly to him. He looks at me and I wrap my arm around his back, letting him lay his head against my shoulder. We stay there for a while, just sitting there like that, and finally we go back to our tent for the night.

          The next day, Ben and I wake up at the same time so we decide to go check on Jimmy. Once we get to the med bus, we see Tom and Anne talking so we go right past them into Jimmy’s room. Lourdes is there standing in the corner so I go to talk to her while Ben sits with Jimmy.

          “Hey how is he?” I ask her.

          “Not good.” Is all she says. Which means Jimmy is close to dying.

          “Dammit. Why did this have to happen to him?” I say crossing my arms.

          “I don’t know, I really don’t know why God chose this way for Jimmy.” Lourdes says.

          “Well we’ve just gotta keep praying for him.” I say.

          “How’s Ben taking it?” She asks me quietly.

          “Not good, he blames himself.” I tell her.

          “He shouldn’t blame himself for this. I mean who knows he might—“ Lourdes starts to say but Ben interrupts her.

          “Jimmy’s not breathing.” Ben says. We rush over and Ben goes to get Anne. They both come back and Lourdes and Anne check his pulse.

          “I can’t find a pulse. I need an amp of epinephrine.” Anne starts to do CPR on Jimmy when Tom walks in. I just stand there behind them, watching. Lourdes keeps giving Jimmy air and Anne keeps pushing but they stop after a while.

          “Why are you stopping? No no keep going, keep doing it.” Ben yells.

          “I’m sorry, he’s gone.” Anne says. I cover my mouth with my hand and run off the bus before I start crying. A few minutes later, I hear Ben and Tom come off too. Tom walks away while Ben walks over to me. I pull him into a hug and begin crying into his shoulder. I can’t believe Jimmy’s actually gone.

          Ben and I just stand there until Tom comes back with a hand full of clothes. They go on the bus to dress Jimmy and once Tom steps off, I go on the bus. I see Ben looking around the room for something.

          “Hey what are you doing?” I ask him.

          “Jimmy’s compass is missing.” He says. He finally gives up and walks over to me.

          “Are you alright?” He asks me.

          “Am I alright? I should be asking you that, not the other way around.” I say.

          “Well I know how close you two were and I’m just-I’m really sorry.” He says looking at Jimmy.

          “You have nothing to be sorry about. He was your best friend and if anyone is to blame for that it’s the damn Skitters. Not you.” I say.

          “You know, he told me something once. He told me about the time when you and him were on your first scouting mission together and you almost killed him when he said I was just another one of the Skitters pets.” He says.

          “Oh I remember that. I was pretty close to killing him that time.” I said laughing and looking down at Jimmy.

          “He also told me about how he used to like you.” Ben says. I look at him and he is still looking down at Jimmy.

          “He said the same thing to me.” I say. Ben looks at me suddenly.

          “What’d you say when he told you?” He asked.

          “I asked why he stopped and he said because he saw you and me together; he saw how happy we were and so he was happy for us.” I said. Ben smiles a little and looks back down at Jimmy.

          “I’m gonna miss him.” Ben says.                   

          “I am too.” I say. I bite the inside of my cheek to prevent from crying but the tears escape. Ben hugs me and we just stand there for a while until the funeral for Jimmy starts.

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