To Kill Him || N.H (AU)

Eleven

Niall and I talked about the complications that I was thinking at that time that cause me to do such a behaviour then apologised right after, he swore his words when he said that he wouldn't leave without me, we stayed in the rain for a long time and stayed even after the rain has gone. The moon started to peek but we remained there seated, just feeling each others' presence. On that day, I promised to myself to never get more attached to Niall, we may have fixed our problem but I wouldn't approach him like the way I used to, we'll simply be just strangers living in the same roof.

Several days passed that lead to this day to come. Niall started to go back to his work since the day after he followed me in the rain, just like what he used to do, just like his normal life. I begun to do some room service for his apartment as a payment for letting me stay once more, I didn't want to stay any further since we still have a little bad blood between us but maybe it was just me who's putting a wall between him and I. I started the day with cleaning the house and feeding Irish and now I'm on the couch, waiting for what's good to come this day. I feel helpless and hopeless that I started to live a life here in Ireland instead of going back to my business, I think I'm just gonna forget about it for awhile because I want some time for myself as well, I can't keep stressing out on that.

Niall felt new to the way I see him the day after I ran away from his flat, at first he was still trying to act like nothing happened but started to adapt to our new approach to each other. We're neither friends nor enemies, we're simply just strangers fulfilling the need of the other and nothing else.

But as a day passes by, I feel as if something's on my back that just gets heavier and heavier, I don't want to feel this way, I know it's because of the problems I'm facing and can't even solve the problem myself for being to naive in the real world but I just really don't want to feel this way. Sometimes I wonder if I had died right then and there on the rain if Niall didn't came, it would have been such a great thing but no, an angel saved me once again and it just means that I need to finish a mission.

Irish came to me and sat with his tail wagging once again, I guess he's trying to cheer me up. In all honesty, Irish is one of the reasons I still gain hope, maybe it's because of his power to cheer me up and make me smile, it's because of his energy that radiates whenever I feel sad. When Irish is there, I feel like I can loosen up a bit and forget about the problems I have and I love it how in spite of my situation, there's still something that I can smile about.

I pat his head and continued to harass him because of how cute he is, I really love him and I hope he feels the same way too, it may sound crazy that it's a dog that I'm talking about but I care more about dogs than guys. The feeling that I'm feeling right now resembles that time when I first met Niall, he made me forget about the things that was on my mind and he managed to make me smile and crack a joke without failing, I smiled at the memory of it, I guess Irish got it from his daddy's genes. I really wish I could just be happy again, I don't want to feel this way, even if I'm thinking about all my problems when I first got here, I didn't feel this much grief and the heaviness because in someway, I could still be happy and smile because of Niall and him being all like Irish, it's like whenever I am with him, it's impossible to ever feel gloomy because he always have a smile on his face to cheer you up and that adorable puppy face.

Thinking about all those just lead to my conclusion - I miss Niall. Even though we see each other and we're living in the same flat, I still miss him because even if we're here inside the same place we're still distant with each other. I miss his funny anecdotes, I miss it how he always has something to share, I miss his inspirational stories and quotes and I most definitely miss his voice and it makes me sad.

"At least you're still here" I mouthed to the dog, still with his tail wagging around with his tongue out just like what most dogs do. I heard the click of a door knob but I didn't bother to turn around, the door's locked and I'm sure it's just one of those times when your ears perceive you into hearing things. It's also not Niall, his shift ends later at 5:00pm but it's only past noon, he shouldn't be here yet but I was wrong when I heard someone call for me. I lift my legs on the couch and put my hands on my chest for I got surprised at the sudden call from another person who wasn't supposed to be here yet. It's Niall standing in front of me, unlike back then, he would always be full of energy and his eyes would always seem to look like it's smiling but what I see in front of me is just a lifeless Niall with his lifeless voice.