Because I Love You✔️

Chapter 9: Prayers

Chapter Nine: Prayers

After Ella left... the night dragged on slowly for Xaphile.

He lay curled up on his side, long hair spread out around him, arms heavy, every part of him limp, and all he could think about was his old life, mostly about everyone he used to know.

How had the world reacted once word had gotten out that he'd taken his own life in the very same spot Ella had died in? 

How had his death affected her mother, Connie? 

Regret filled him for a few moments when he thought about what his death might have done to her, but the hollow sensation where his heart used to be overshadowed it, reminding him of the reasons behind his own actions. He'd left her a note explaining things, and that was all that really mattered. 

He vaguely wondered about his father's reaction after a few moments, but he dismissed the thought since it wasn't really like the jerk would miss him... in fact, his old man was probably still celebrating since there was one less mouth to feed now.

He shook his head and turned his thoughts to Ella... not the evil clone, of course, but the girl he'd initially fallen for, and for the first time since her death he actually thought about her seriously. 

He couldn't exactly recall when some of his deepest feelings had started since, after meeting her, everything had been bright and wonderful. 

In time, the childish and innocent love he'd had for her had grown into admiration, respect, and the most deepest devotion, to the point where every single one of his actions in later years had been aimed to please her and make her feel proud of him. She'd known this, and while she'd kept encouraging him to never stop pushing his limits, she'd acknowledged and given him credit for every achieved goal, happily celebrating them with the most proud and loving smiles.

From the moment she'd met him, Ella had loved him, in a world where he'd been unlovable, and in return he had come to love her more than anything else in that world. He shook his head in an attempt to rid himself of the confusion that kept welling up inside him, but there was no escape.

No way out.

His hands twitched, and he drew them close to his chest, feeling the familiar ache washing over his heart. The yearning to hold her... the desire to wrap his arms around her just one more time.

The ache to embrace someone who could never embrace him back.

Even though his mind kept telling him she was gone, the void in his heart continued reaching for her, for everything she'd taken from him when she'd passed on. Unbidden, tears stung his eyes like acid and streamed into his hair, but he didn't even care enough to wipe them away.

The evil Ella would be passing his sentence tomorrow, and even though he knew whatever she had planned probably wasn't going to be painless, he figured he could handle it. If it hurt too much, he would simply go somewhere else inside his head.

All he had to do now was wait for the end... but...

'Whenever you're sad... promise me you'll sing. You always look happier when you sing.'

His vision clouded over and blurred as his pain took on physical form and trickled down across his nose, dripping onto the floor of the cage as the words came to him, unbidden, with a flash of nostalgic memory. And he couldn't erase them once he remembered them.

Whenever he'd been feeling his worst, Ella had always forced him to sing something to distract him from his hurt. She'd made him promise that he would keep singing whenever he felt sad, or depressed, or unhappy, even if she wasn't around to hear it.