Because I Love You✔️

Chapter 41: Sworn Brothers

Chapter Forty-One: Sworn Brothers

Later that night, Xaphile found himself lying on a soft mattress in the guest bedroom since Bruno had insisted multiple times that he sleep in the bed instead of on the floor by the fireplace.

Despite his initial reluctance, he'd eventually caved in and gone into the bedroom to retire for the evening. He'd initially felt clean and refreshed after bathing, but because he'd refused to take his shirt off, he was really hot. He lay restlessly, staring at the ceiling.

Even though he was thoroughly exhausted, his mind simply refused to cooperate and shut off: his thoughts would race around all at once, overwhelming him and jolting him from sleep every time he closed his eyes.

He felt pretty peeved since he was tired and unable to rest.

He took a few deep breaths, then folded his clawed hands over his stomach and closed his eyes, allowing his thoughts to wander.

In the back of his mind, he knew that sometime very soon he would have to leave.

Ella and the others were undoubtedly looking for him, and knowing Amelia, he figured they would eventually find him somehow. But he wasn't going back... he couldn't.

He felt sick with himself, with what he'd done. Trying to force himself on a girl was the lowest he'd ever sunk. The moment he'd done it, he had become a man who was just as bad as his father.

Maybe even worse.

And that... that alone tore him apart from the inside, rending the hole within his chest even wider and filling it full with self-loathing and disgust.

"I can't go back," he muttered, shuddering violently. "After what I did to her, I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to kill me."

However, as he lay thinking about all that had transpired, he gave into his desires. He sighed heavily and sat up, rubbing his nose for a moment.

Fanning himself with a discomforted expression, he decided to check the weather outside and slid off the bed.

Shoulders hunched, he opened the door to the guest room and peered into the hall.

It was late... so late, in fact, that the firelight coming from the mantle in the living room had burned low.

He sleepily rubbed his eyes, still lost in the labyrinth of his own mind when he walked towards the front door.

Upon opening it, he shivered since a frigid wind assaulted him... but instead of a howling blizzard, there was a clear sky with those gorgeous stars twinkling above.

Feeling surprised, he opened the door a little wider and looked up at the night sky.

If not for the promise he'd made Amelia, he most likely would have let himself die in the snow.

He still owed her big time for all the kindness she'd given him, so he would honor the promise he'd made her, but he was genuinely only a hair's breadth away from going completely and utterly insane.

His heart had become a storm of unreleased emotion that had continued building beneath the numbing ice that coated his insides, and his chest was so tight that it literally felt ready to explode.

He couldn't let himself think or he would self destruct, but, not thinking was easier thought than said, and even harder to do.

He took a small glance back at the warm home he'd been invited to stay in, ears twitching as he listened to the sounds of soft breathing coming from the bedrooms, then he looked out into the cold winter landscape, pondering what he should do.