Breaking the Rules - COMPLETED

20: lemons are bittersweet

•Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear•
~The Hunger Games

Nate~

"You look awfully pale," Emily points out. "Did something happen?"

Her and Matt sit next to each other, their legs tangled together, his arm wrapped around her shoulder while they're holding hands. They look so cute I could throw up.

"Nope, nothing," I mumble, not breaking my stare away from the TV.

I hear shuffling beside me and my eyes wander to Matt who shifted closer to me, his head tilted to the side, his eyes boring through me. I fidget nervously and turn away again, gulping.

"Bullshit. Something happened. You wouldn't act that way otherwise," he says accusingly and out of the corner of my eyes I see Emily narrow her eyes at me.

"Is it your mom?"

I don't answer.

"Your dad."

I still don't answer.

"Listen, Nate. Would you stop with this bullshit and tell me what's going on? I'm your best friend and I-"

"I kissed Keytlin," I blurt out before he could say anything else. "The day I brought her home. Well we kissed and she didn't pull away, and I didn't either and me kind of made out and I have no idea what's going to happen next."

It stays silent for several minutes after my outburst and I feel their shocked eyes watching me, never wavering away from me until I get so nervous that I jump up and pace up and down the room.

"You did what?" they both gasp after they looked at each other, I assume.

I spin around to face them, their eyes are wide. They look troubled and it was good. It doesn't make me feel better at all.

"It kind of happened. I didn't think, and it kind of felt right?" It's a statement but to me it sounded like a question and from Emily's sad expression she's heard it too.

Matt slowly untangles himself from Emily and stands up. "If your dad finds out-"

"He won't find out," I hiss and Matt takes a surprised step back.

"Right, Nate. But what if he does?" Emily's soft voice calms me a bit and I sigh in defeat, letting my head hang low

"If don't know. Don't you think I'm worrying about that too," I whisper and suddenly look up again. "I fell for her okay? It makes me incredibly stupid and I'm probably the most careless person on this whole freaking world. But I fell for her. Ad I can't change it."

I bit down on my lips as I look down at the carpet again, contemplating the possibilities I have now.

Suddenly a small hand wraps around my shoulder and I look up into the soft brown eyes of Emily. She gives me a sad smile, shaking her had.

"It doesn't make you stupid or careless. It makes you human," she reassures me but I can't quite shaking the feeling off that what I did was wrong on so many levels. "How about you talk with Keytlin about it tomorrow? See how she feels about it."

I slowly nod. "Yeah, you're right. You're probably right," I whisper, mostly to reassure myself.

She gives my shoulder a soft squeeze before letting go. "I have to go now, have a good night, guys."

Before she leaves though she pecks Matt on the lips and even minutes after she leaves he has a dazed look on his face.

Looking at him when he is like this, I can't help but wish I could have this too.